Making Love Instead Of Misery
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: Jay's in trouble with drugs, he goes to the only girl that could ever help him. Emma Nelson. She lets him stay with her and Manny, he falls hard for Emma but she resists him since with Peter. How long will she try to stay 'friends' with Jay?Chapt9 FIXED!
1. Guess Whose Back

**So this is the setting of Degrassi, Season 5, in the summer. Just so you got things clear, Emma and Peter are dating, Craig is gone so Manny and him have long distance relationship and Jay is off doing his own thing...until I use my wonderful ideas and bring him in for Emma. Hope you like this!**

Emma Nelson was your typical high school girl. She was average, loved and had many friends along with her boy friend Peter Stone.

Though she did have some rough patches through-out her life, Emma had an okay life.

The best was that she was alone in the summer at her house, for a month! Spike and Snake decided to bring Jack on his first vacation up at some beach, a plane ride away.

Everything was great! Even before school ended for the summer she had admit was a good year too. She passed her classes with the best grades she's ever had, and her and Manny were still the best of friends! And she met Peter at the start of the year, Peter was a sweet guy and Emma didn't have to go through Degrassi with **him **after Spinner admitted to bullying Rick before the shooting and got him and Jay got expelled last year.

Jay Hogart wasn't at Degrassi anymore.

How peaceful.

How delightful

...how...boring.

But Emma Nelson would never admit that.

But come on, everyone knew he made things fun. He was the trouble stirrer, party animal, but Emma didn't care about that disease spreader, that stupid cheater son of a-

"So" Peter snapped her out of thoughts. It was for the best, Emma hadn't seen Jay in months and she had no idea why now and then he'd pop in her head. Guess hatred really could be powerful.

Peter was holding her hand as he walked her to her house down the street. They just shared a date the first party of the summer.

"So" smiled Emma looking off into space, the night surrounding them "It's late" she admits.

He nods watching her and smiles a bit "I'll call you tomorrow?" he questions.

Emma went to open her mouth to then just nod and put a smile on "sure" she confirms and he nodded back.

"Good night" Peter held her and pressed his lips to hers. Emma softly kissed back and turns away to look over her shoulder before she went into her house.

From across the street, a car was in the shadows was watching them briefly . An orange car. A civic...

A familiar face by the name of Jay Hogart sat inside his car, debating to get out or not..and go knock on Greenpeaces' door.


	2. Drive Me Crazy

As Jay sat there in the dark, in his car, in deep thought, his leg was quickly shaking up and down. He couldn't tell if it was effect of what he was on, or because he was nervous. Or both?

His other shaky hand tried to stop it and his eyes looked bewildered.

He finally got out and swallowed that deep and harsh lump in his throat, slamming the door behind him.

He jogged over to Emma Nelsons house and in a paranoid state, he looked around him and then went to the side of her house.

...And there she was. Emma Nelson.

He bent down at her window and watched her, he could hear the crickets and echos of cars on the highway a few blocks away but all he saw was her.

It's been a while..

She had longer hair now, a tanner body then he remembered but still beautiful. Like always.

His breath stopped when she took off her shirt, revealing a navy lace bra with matching panties when she pulled her skirt down.

He looked away and clenched his jaw before waiting a few moments and looking back, Emma finally put on some clothes, a white tank top and short black shorts.

He watched as she circled the room, as if looking for something. He finally got the courage to put his shaky hand up and knock on the window.

Emma jumped right back in shock and turned for her eyes to widen.

"Jay!?" she yells. Didn't even sound like a question.

She went over to the window and opened it, he bent a bit more and jumped himself in.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Emma glared into the eyes of the guy who took adventage of her a year ago.

Or did she take adventage of him?

No one could really answer that question, guess you could say it was a mutual- ugh! Doesn't matter.

"Well?" Emma yells putting hands on her hips.

Jay crindged a bit "Don't yell" he says, annoyed.

"I'm not yelling!" she exclaims to then cough and think about it. Oh.

"I need help" Jay confessed.

_**finally he said it. He could never bring himself too. Espashailly to her.**_

He already felt a little better.

He looks deeply into her eyes "I need help so badly" he put his hands on her soft arms.

"Don't touch me Jayson" she sneered his whole name, yanking his hands off of her.

"Still uptight over the sex thing, huh?" Jay tiredly leaned on her walls, giving her a poutful look

Emma stared at him in disbelieve "Uh, you mean that STD thing? Yeah I'm pissed you asshole!" she shouts.

All the sexy girls had to have a temper didn't they?

"It's not like I knew I had it" Jay bitters "If I did, I wouldn't of got you involved"

Emma snickers and he got even more angry. No one ever trusted him.

"I knew you were going to be a bitch about this!" he yells.

"Why the hell are you even here, **Jayson**?!" she yells back.

Jay and Emma stood in front of another, glaring each other down until Jay groaned, frustrated. See? She drove him crazy!

**You know the drill, REVIEW! Lets see how many lovers want this story to happen. Come on Jemma fans! Bahahahha. Love you guys! **


	3. Stay

After Jay gave a long frustrating groan out, Emma couldn't help but look more into his eyes.

Something was off about it. She knew his eyes were different tonight...

They were red and he looked weak and tired.

"You look like shit" Her mouth dropped "Are you high!?" she exclaims.

Jay huffs taking a step back and Emma fumed. God, she was like his MOTHER.

"You came over to my house of all places, out of the blue, stoned?!" she shouts at him and he slowly nods.

Emma could not belive him!

He would never change!

"Get out" Emma turns from him.

Jay's mouth fell and in his eyes should so much weakness.

He was helpless.

"Where the hell am I suppose to go?" Jay blurts out madly.

Emma turned around and gave a confused face.

What was he talking about?

Emma looked down and back at him "You...You have no where to go?" she softly asks feeling bad. Why did she have to be so caring..

"I lost my girl friend, my friends...my best friend" Jay drifts on as Emma sadly watched him "My family won't even help me out. Won't even let me in..." he stiffens. He was telling Emma way too much.

He looked up and saw the pity in her eyes, that's not what he wanted!

"You know what, screw it, nevermind. Go back to your wonderfull life." he told her. He didn't blame her, he didn't want to mess up her life anyways. Not again.

He let a loud breath out and turned putting his hands on her window cell and went to jump himself up.

"wait" Emma huffs and he looked over his shoulder to see her looking at him again and slowly turned back to her. Emma folded her arms "My parents are gone for a while. You can stay if you need to" she confirms.

Jay didn't know what to say. Only that famous smirk grew a little and he gave her a thankful nod.

Did she really just say he could stay?


	4. Dare You To Scream

"You can sleep here" Emma confirms standing at the edge of her bed and putting the blanket at the end of it, off.

Jay watched as she put it on the floor with a couple of blankets and nodded. It was better than nothing.

Jay put his hand up, going to touch Emma's shoulder to say thank you as he stood behind her, but he quickly put it down as she turned. Touching her was the last thing she probably wanted from him.

When Emma turned, she was sizing him up "You look like crap" she confessed.

"Thanks Greenpeace" teased Jay "I heard better lines though" he taunts playfully.

Emma rolled her eyes ignoring whatever he said and nods behind him "There's a bathroom there, you can have a shower" she confirms.

"First I look like shit, now I smell it?" joked Jay.

He had to smirk a bit when Emma didn't even crack a smile.

"Relax kid, I'm teasing you" said Jay "You use to be so good at it"

Emma glared, was that some sex joke!? "Remember whose house your in **Jayson**" Emma snapped back at him. "And don't call me kid" she warns.

Emma crawled onto her bed and pulled her covers down.

"I'll stop calling you kid if you don't ever call me Jayson again" Jay states "Or I can call you Emily, but that sounds wierd. You don't look like an Emily, more like-"

"So I see drugs only make you talk more" Emma cuts him off and rolls her eyes getting under covers. "Go take a shower" she taunts.

She turned on her bed, on her side so that her back was facing Jay who watched her for a moment.

He finally nodded to her but more himself since she wasn't looking, but was awake.

He went to the bathroom and pulled his shirt off, he leaned over the tub putting the water on and Emma listened to the water and his foot steps.

Jay closed the door and leaned on it to then take in a deep breath and tossed his hat off and on the sink.

He stared himself down in the mirror. Get it together you pussy. Hmph, he did look a bit worn out. Shower would do him good, and maybe a shave.

Meanwhile, Emma was trying to sleep but the though of Jay in her house and shower kept her up.

_Wouldn't it for you?_

_**SHUT UP!**_Emma's mind yelled back at, well, herself.

Emma stopped her thoughts and shook it out of her head.

No dirty thoughts! And DEFINATLY not about Jay. That was just a bad phase with another bad boy..but not just any, Jay.

Jay finally came out of the shower and the bathroom to be only in black pants. His eyes slowly gazed to the bed Emma was in.

She was sound asleep and looked like an angel.

Jay smirks going to his bed on the ground. Had to admit, she was an angel when she slept, all quiet and not fighting him.

But was it wierd on how he missed fighting with her?

Jay had hands behind his head trying to sleep. He finally dozed off and the morning came sooner.

...with a scream.


	5. My Eyes Are Decieving

The scream got louder and Emma groans into her pillow to flutter her eyes open.

Jay cursed under his breath and slowly opened his eyes to see one of Emma's friends standing in the door way staring right back at him.

Slutty Santos, right?

Manny breathed heavily and looked to Emma who tiredly sat up, rubbing her eyes. OH crap, she forgot she told Manny she'd have a girls day with her.

"Emma!" exclaims Manny pointing at Jay "What the hell is _he_ doing here?"

Emma glanced to the left and saw Jay finally standing up and tired as her, maybe worse.

"he's staying here for a bit" Emma admits.

Manny let another scream out and Jay glared.

"Can you lay low on the high pitch shit?" Jay angered "My ears are ringing"

"My eyes are decieving" Manny snapped back at him and he just rolled his eyes turning from her and rolling the blankets he slept on, up.

"Emma!" Manny yelled in a whisper "Why is he staying here?"

"I don't know" Emma admits and shrugs "He needs a place to stay, just for a little."

"All you know he's out there, wanted for murder" Manny exclaimed back.

Jay had to snicker. Yeah right. He wasnt that badass.

Emma stood up from bed "Oh please Manny, can you hear what your saying?" she laughed a little.

Manny crossed her arms over her chest "What is funny about this Emma?" she asks.

"nothing" admits Emma "but theres also nothing dramatic about this, so get over it. He'll be gone soon"

Jay turned back to the girls who spoke like he wasn't there or something and gave them a 'what the hell' look.

Manny let a breath out and simply shrugs "Fine.. but if he ends up screwing you over like he does to everyone. Don't come crying to me" she put hands up.

"Oh shut up Santos." Jay said, annoyed and bothered by her thinking he'd actually intentionally want to hurt Emma, those were never his intentions..

"Ugh, both of you shut up" Emma confirms.

Jay looked back at Manny "At least I was there for her during the shooting, a crying shoulder. Where were you?"

"You mean there for a blow job?" Manny taunted back

Emma's eyes widen as she glared at both of them "Oh my god you guys. I just woke up!" she glared harshly and stomped up the stairs.

The two winced a little hearing the door slam.

...and it was only Day 2.

Manny and Jay eyed another suspisously.


	6. Coffee Vs Cocain Vs Boyfriend

Jay made his way to the Dot, he needed some coffee or something, he was getting antsy... happened when you were addicted to drugs. But he swore coffee would do the trick.

Spinner who was behind the counter looked up and grinned "Jay! Buddy!" he calls.

Jay, as if not going to go to the counter, went. Of course, this was his home boy!

"Where've you been?" Spinner asked him

Jay tiredly rubbed his face, then fixed his hat on his head, "Around man, around" was all he could really say.

Spinner nods taking that as an answer "Hey, Aaron's looking for you"

Jay had a blank stare until shaking his head "No, I'm done with that" just need coffee..

Spinner just snickered and nodded his head "Sure you are" he jokes.

"I am" Jay shot back.

Some girl came to the counter and ordered some fries. Spinner nodded and turned. The girl did more than just glance at Jay. Jay was boredly playing with the spoon in his hands and didn't even notice.

"Hey" the girl smiled to him and Jay looks over to just nod and turn back to his spoon. The girl gave a wierd look and snickers walking away, jerk. She stayed at her stool til Spinner came back.

He noticed the girl and couldn't help but grin, "Hi! I'm Spinner" he introduced.

"I didn't ask" the girl glared at Spinner "Girls with asses like mine, do not talk to boys with faces like yours" she snapped back and grabbed her fries.

Meanwhile Emma came inside with Manny and began walking over to them. That girl was still staring at Jay, going to try hitting on him again..

"You go the ravine a lot, right?" she asked, tilting her head curiously.

Jay rolled his eyes getting up "Piss off" he told the girl who gasped loudly, the girls Manny and Emma gave Jay a look as they arrived and heard that, and Spinner was laughing uncontrollably.

Emma watched the girl stomp off and got on the counter herself "Charming" she said in pure sarcasm.

"Thanks" Jay tiredly said getting water behind the counter where Spinner just let him and came back to sit beside her.

"get us some hot dogs Sticks" Manny taunted Spinner with his old nick name. He turned around to silently mock her as she glared at the back of his head. Ever since their break up after his shooting confession, she dumped him fast and easy.

"I'm gone tonight" Emma told Jay "So here's the key" she gave him one.

Spinner turned as Jay gave an odd look "Your trusting me with your house key?" he asked

"wh-wait" Spinner pointed between them "This isn't...is it?"

Emma just rolled her eyes at him not even going to bother as Jay glared at him shaking his head like Spinner was the biggest idiot on earth.

"Look Em." Manny said sarcastically as the Dot's door opened and the bell went off, "Your boyfriend!"

Peter walked in and on over to them. Emma's mouth hung a bit and looked over her shoulder to see while Jay just glanced and then looked at her.


	7. I'm Not Sick But I'm Not Well

"Hey Peter Pan" Jay said, he couldn't help it. He's seen the kid once or twice trying to get into his friends' party. He was a try hard mama's boy, people were easily tricked into thinking he could actually be a real bad ass. . he was a joke compared to Jay.

Emma sent Jay a glare and Peter oddly stared.

"Ignore him" Emma told Peter.

"Who is he?" Peter asks.

Jay rolled eyes, so sick of people talking like he wasn't there ! And people wonder why he started using in the first place.

"Jay" Emma dully said sending him a glare of daggers "He's a whore and a slut. I hate him...lets go" she didn't want to stay

And most of all, she didn't want Peter to really meet Jay. Or was it she didn't want Jay to meet Peter?

Jays mouth fell "Did you just call me a slut?" he asks dumbfounded.

Manny and Spinner entertainingly watched.

"And how does that make you feel?" Spinner asked as even Peter watched the fire go between Jay and Emma. Clearly there was some history..

"like she's insane!" exclaims Jay standing in front of Emma "You don't call guys sluts" he told her

"Okay then." Emma pretended to think of something new "Then you're a diseased asshole whos good for nothing" she shot.

And how long did she hold this in for?

Jay pierced his mouth tightly, trying to hold in whatever his witty mouth was coming up with, knowing he couldn't go too far with her, she held the key of power... literally.. the key to him actually having shelter and food.

"Yeah, yeah. Have fun with your fairy dust boyfriend" Jay mutters but she heard it and turns to Peter

Peter smiled though and kissed her, he happily took her hand and led her to the Dot door.

Jay gave a mocking head gester of the perky boy and turned to Spinner "Where's Aaron?" he questions madly.

"Ravine of course" Spinner quietly said back to Manny wouldn't hear and think things, she was to busy eating her hot dog anyways that he just gave her.

"Kay, I'm out" Jay and Spinner slapped hands and Jay took one more glance at Emma smiling with Peter and left to go find Aaron...

And whats with Aaron?

Nothing good.

Jay walked around the ravine, in the day it didn't have much people there but the promising druggies and alkies just relaxing and sitting around.

Aaron was sitting in a circle of people who were either laughing or smoking their pot. Aaron got up and they manly hugged as Aaron slipped a cocain bottle into Jay's pocket.

Jay knew he did, it was their thing...He nods and pulls away "Where've you been?" Aaron asked.

Jay breaths "I'm at a friends...couldn't afford my apartment anymore" he confessed and Aaron slowly nods.

"Well if you need a place to stay, you can crash at my place" Aaron told him and Jay thought about it.

Why did he have some thought of wanting to stay with Emma?

But Jay just nods before leaving.

He got in his car and lined his cocain up on his dashboard. He rested his head back thinking about things until finally giving up and putting his nose to it, plugging one side as the other snorted it up.

Jay let a groan out and held his head leaning back to his seat and closing his eyes...his hands started to shake again...

_**Fingertips have memories**_  
_** Mine can't forget the curves of your body**_  
_** And when I feel a bit naughty**_  
_** I run it up the flagpole and see who salutes**_  
_** (but no one ever does)**_

_** I'm not sick but I'm not well**_  
_** And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell**_


	8. I Don't Know What I'm On

Jay slowly came into the house, it was quiet and dark. Manny must of gone out too.

He let a breath out taking off his jacket and shoes, slowly walking down Emma's basement stairs. He landed on Emma's bed and just laid there trying to sleep.

Yeah right, he could never.

Actually, the only time he's ever slept this entire week was last night...

He sat up and threw his hat off and looked around. Emma's room was actually pretty neat, she had everything she needed down here. He stood up and walked to her dresser, there were pictures on it. He took a closer look..

There was one of Emma with Manny, looked like this year, they were in the ocean laughing and splashing another.

The next one was of the Jeremiah family and the Nelsons.

The last one was of Sean. And there he was, a picture of him and Emma smiling like the love birds they were...right? Jay felt a sting in his gut. The picture actually looked like it was taken this year? Sean had longer hair and Emma looked the same. Did she go see him? Was she not over him? . ..

In the picture, Emma was in his embrace, it looked like she was laughing and Sean was smiling to the camera.

Jay backed away from it as if it was fire and blinked a couple times before going back upstairs. He sat on the couch and grabbed the remote looking for something to watch but couldn't really pay attention. He looked beside the couch to a coffee table, another picture of just Emma.

Damn, she's beautiful.

Jay looked away, he couldn't think that of Nelson, could he? Been there, done that...it always turned out so bad. They were so oppisite... and she drove him as crazy as he knew he drove her.. but, as the corny saying goes, oppisites do attract, and Jay never had a dull moment with Greenpeace.

Jay stood up hearing the front door opened and went over to it. Emma. She looked at him when closing the door and snickers at him "Don't look so alarmed..." she teased "I live here, not you." she softly laughed.

He followed her down stairs and watched her pull her sweater off and fly it onto the bed just wearing a black string top and a jean skirt. Jay nods to the picture on her mirror, curiousity got the better of him.

"When was this?" he pointed to the picture and Emma saw it was the one of her and Sean.

She simply shrugged "a couple months ago?" she guessed "He invited me and Craig up there"

"Right..." drifts Jay sadly, why didn't his own best friend call him to come?

Emma saw the hurt across Jay's face and sadens herself "He called you" she confrims and he just snickers "He did! He wanted you there"

"you sure?" Jay taunted "looks like he just wanted **you **there" he confirms.

Emma scoffs "It's not even like that. He's with some girl in Wasaga!"

"sucks for you then huh?" Jay taunted back and before he left, Emma turned him.

"God, it's not like that, I said. Me and Sean are **friends. **Then again, you probably don't know that meaning between a guy and a girl" she sneered. Why was she even fighting with him about this!? She can see whoever the hell she wanted! He wasn't her boyfriend..

Jay watched as a pissed off Emma went upstairs and sighed He didn't know why he got so upset, he knew Sean probably tried to get a hold of him but he and his drugs laid money off so he couldn't pay the phone bills...and knowing Emma went to go see him, knowing their history.. I don't know, did he feel jealous?

When Jay went to chase Emma and apoligize he noticed his hands shaking again. It's been too long without the drugs, he needed more but he already took all of what Aaron gave him.

Jay started to loose his breath, what the hell was going on.

"Emma" Jay wanted to yell it but it only came out as a whisper and he fell on his knees. He was sweating now and began to panic.

Can't breath.

Can't breath...

**_Somebody mixed my medicine_**  
**_ I don't know what I'm on_**  
**_ Somebody mixed my medicine_**  
**_ But baby it's all gone_**  
**_ Somebody mixed my medicine_**  
**_ Somebody's in my head again_**  
**_ Somebody mixed my medicine again, again_**


	9. They Try To Make Me Go To Rehab

"Okay you know" Emma came back down the stairs "I'm sorry for what I said" she admitted, as she came down the stairs and her eyes widen. "Jay" she ran over.

He coughed a lot and tried crawling up from the ground, blood on his hands that he wiped from his nose.

"O god" Emma cried.

"I can't breath" he gasped and choked bending down.

"What do we do!?" Emma panicked, she felt her heart thumping out of her chest and helped him up, Emma had her arms wrapped around his waist, Jay's arm around her shoulder as she balanced him.

Emma raced him outside, towards his car like he muttered to her, they went to the car and Emma had to go to the drivers seat after directing him into the passanger.

Jay was shaking like no tomorrow.

"Jay" Emma started to cry when she buckled up and had his keys, "I can't do this, I-I can't even drive well" she yells, tears streaming down her face.

Damn him! She though he was trying to get better!?

Jay took a deep breath and connected his eyes with her, if he wasn't feeling like death, he would of been put into shock. Emma was this scared for him?

He leaned in and cupped her face, inches away from her "You can do this alright Em?" he swallowed hard painfully, "I'm here with you. You can do it."

Emma sniffed but still cried as she went back to the steering wheel, starting the car and nodding. Why couldn't they just call 911?!

As Emma went as fast as she could, he felt his eyes getting heavy.

Emma felt his hand go onto hers and she looked at him, he almost asleep trying to stay up, but livid enough to reach for her hand. He looked so pale..

She held onto his hand tighter.

_**(rihanna, Rehab)  
Baby, baby When we first met  
I never felt something so strong  
You were like my lover, And my best friend  
All wrapped into one, With a ribbon on it  
And all of a sudden, you went and left  
I didn't know how to follow  
It's like a shock that spun me around  
And now my heart's dead  
I feel so empty and hollow**_

All Jay could remember was finally seeing the hospital doors that were automatic and opened by running doctors and nurses.

He blacked out a lot.

In and out, in and out.

He remembered Emma trying to answer their questions but was to shaken up to know everything about him or didn't even know how to speal.

_Just leave her the hell alone._

He wanted to help her, only to be blacked out again.

He woke up to be completely in pain and puking his lungs out. Doctors were screaming around him and yelling at another, his heart speading like a rollar coaster and his body so cold but sweating.

_**And I'll never give myself to another  
The way I gave it to you  
Don't even recognize  
The ways you hurt me  
Do you?  
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back  
And you're the one to blame**_

He remembered waking again to immeditaly think about Emma and where she was, how she was...to black out again.

Now here he is, blinking his eyes open.

A white room, he's in a hospital bed and he made it.

He let a sign of relief wash over him and his grey eyes wondered everywhere around the room.

The couch, beside his bed, a single chair...with Emma Nelson sleeping soundly in it. He softened.

He closed his eyes tightly to then open them and with all his might he raised his hand and moved closer to her, he wanted to caress her hair, she looked so peaceful. He then thought against it and softly poked her arm with his bent finger.

Emma woke up and she connected eyes tiredly with him. She let a breath out "I hate you" she confirms.

Jay had to chuckle, out of all the things she could of said. No matter how much it hurt, he had to chuckle. She smiled a little back and looks to the door.

Jay followed her gaze to the hospital door, it was closed but the window showed something Jay hated most in his life. Cops.

"They want to take you..." Emma quietly said and he snapped his eyes back at her.

"No, no" Jay got up and Emma stood up wondering what the hell he was doing, he glanced at the window again to see the cops going to the desk to probably get more files about him "Emma, I can't go" he told her turning back.

The petite blonde sadly watched him and Jay went to her to stand inches a part.

"Emma, I-I can't. I cannot go to rehab, jail.. .whereever they want to take me" his eyes sunk into hers "I can't end up like him"

Him?

Emma saddens watching him. She didn't know why, but...she nodded. If he meant his father, then she had to agree she understood what he meant.. her father was in some mental institution after tripping on acid and permanently frying his brain.

They looked over seeing the cops still looking at files by the nurses desk and Jay grabbed Emma's hand, slowly sneaking out his room and then to the exit stairs.

Back upstairs, the nurse looked at the camera to see them.

"O no" She turned yelling to the cops now going to Jay's hospital room "He got out!" she yells.

The cops looked at another and began running to the stair case, bashing the door opened.

Emma and Jay looked up to hear the yells of the cops to find him and raced more down the stairs.

The nurse put the alarm on and Jay cursed under his breath.

Emma yelped when they went out the only door at the bottom of the stairs to find the door led to a emergency waiting room.

Jay grabbed her into the other first door he saw, THE MORGE

"ew" Emma comments and wrinkled her nose, dead people around them ready for make up, probably for their soon to be funeral.

Jay scratched the back of his neck. Fuck! What was he to do now

The alarm got louder and so many foot steps were heard out the door as Emma ran her hand through her hair.

Jay raised an eyebrow at her after looking around and Emma gave him a wondering look. What was he up to?

"Jay..." drifts Emma and Jay was already at one of the bodies and began to strip the dead guy of his clothes.

He was too easy to see if he was wearing green hospital pants and a white t-shirt.

"Jay" Emma scoffs "Don't touch them!" she hissed and tried slapping his hands away from the body.

"We're desperate" Jay told her, untying his hospital pants and Emma's eyes widen to turn, he had to laugh a little, pulling them down to put the dead guys black pants on

Nothing she hasn't seen..

"Get me the guys shirt" Jay told her.

Emma groaned in a pouty way to stand over the guy and slowly take off his light blue sleeve shirt.

Jay was now in black pants and a blue shirt, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows. Wow, he actually looked presentable.

"come on" Jay took Emma's hand and peeked out of the door.

They slowly came out of it and walked by a doctor who had no clue who he was, which was good.

Emma swallowed hard, their gonna get caught.

Their gonna get caught!

"We're not going to get caught" Jay whispered in her ear, reading her mind and found the 'Exit' door.

They finally made it out and Jay had to smile as they reached outside, it was raining but the day couldn't be any better.

"Your fucking insane!" Emma shouts over the rain and shoves him for making her do that.

Jay laughed harder and just grabbed her, he crashed his lips to hers and Emma's eyes widen to feel her heart skip. No, she can't fall for him again.

Thinking it was just a happy kiss cause he got out, Emma shoved him off and glared.

"God!" she yells "You act like you just got out of prison"

"Coulda been that way" Jay smugly said, feeling good. Hm, forgot how soft her lips were.

Emma gasped when the back doors opened and she even grabbed Jay's hand, running to the car.

Jay got in and both were smiling as he started the car, "Can't believe I let you drive my baby." he told Emma.

Emma rolled her eyes to him, shaking her head and smiling.

"Then again it was life or death." he joked and began to drive home as Emma playfully hit him, that wasn't funny!

_**(rehab- Amy Winehouse)  
They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'  
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know  
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine  
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go **___


	10. They Say Love Is Not For Sinners

Jay was squishing swiftly and slowly through a crowd of people at Spinner's house party, he had that Hogart smirk and he was looking a little better.

His eyes were on Emma who stood with Manny and Liberty in the middle of the party, laughing and talking until Emma caught him watching her, tried not to smile, and went back to her conversation with the girls.

"Here yea go" Spinner said, as Jay got to him and tossed him a beer, he was standing with his new girl friend Darcy.

Before Jay even took one sip, Emma grabbed the beer and he protested "Hey" he then saw it was her and shut his mouth that twitched, trying to hold back his grin.

Spinner and Darcy shared a look, someone keeping Jay from partying? This'll be interesting.

He went to grab it but she hid it behind her back "Emma..." he warns and she just raised an eyebrow "It's just a beer!"

"You **just **got out of the hospital 6 hours ago Jay" she exclaims.

He smirks "nah, I think you care about me" he smugly said and Emma glared at his cockiness.

"I think your full of shit" Emma said and he just smiled down at her and she hid hers.

"Jay" came a voice splitting the two up.

Oh great, Amy.

"Heard you got sick" She put her hands on his arms,. "I can make it better" she smirks seducingly.

Emma rolled her eyes as Jay rolled his as well. But Emma didn't see it and just gave him back his beer "Have fun"

Was that bitter in her voice?

Jay watched her go back over to Liberty and Manny and couldn't take his eyes off her, even as Amy waved her hand in front of his face.

Emma was somethin' alright..

Back at home Jay took his usual spot on the ground with his blankets and pillows. Emma and him stayed awake as they just talked while she laid in her bed too.

"Did you ever pick out your porn name?" Emma asks since they couldn't really sleep...and she had a feeling he couldn't either.

Jay had to smile while shaking his head slightly on his pillow, laying on his back "What are you talking about?" he asks.

"Your porn name" Emma says again "Um, you know. You take the name of your first pet and your Grand Mothers maiden name, you put them together" silence. Jay had to laugh and Emma rolled her eyes smiling on her bed "What was the name of your first pet?"

"I've only had one" admits Jay and Emma listened "I had a dog named Rocket" he admits and Emma giggled a little. "Grandmothers maiden name...Rowe" he told her.

"Rocket Rowe" Emma said "Nice"

Jay closed his eyes to then open them, grinning a little "What's yours?"

"I had a bunny named Bunny" Emma said.

"Your named your bunny Bunny?" Jay oddly said and Emma mhm'd. Jay chuckled softly, classic Emma. Probably named her Fish, fish.

"Mother's maiden name is Nelson" she recalls.

"Bunny Nelson." drifts Jay looking up at the cieling "Dawons freaks, starring Rocket Rowe and Bunny Nelson" silence "Nice" he mocked her back, a crooked grin showing off his face.

"Shut up" Emma playfully said and sank more into her covers, smiling and oh god, was she blushing? Emma tried to whipe that off her face and tried to drift to sleep.

In the middle of the night Emma slowly got up from her bed hearing some gag noises.

She frowned sadly walking over to the bathroom where the door was left open.

There was Jay, sitting beside the toilet, tiredly sitting against the tub with his eyes closed, just trying to get one second of feeling better.

He hasn't puked yet, but it looked like he was going too.

Emma also sadly noticed he was shaking. Probably going through withdrawal..

This is what drugs did to you. Emma remembered,well, barely thank god. But when she was little her mom use to cry over her real dads drug use a lot

Jay looked over seeing Emma awake and sitting next to him to let a breath of relief out a bit.

"Feel like I'm dying" he softly admits feeling his stomach clenching and looks to her to feel a bit better.

Even in the middle of the night her eyes shined.

"close to" Emma teased while leaning on the tub with him.

"Thanks Greenpeace" joked Jay leaning his head to the side looking at her as she giggled a bit tiredly yet pulled her knees up to her chest, staying there with him.

He had no idea there was real people like her.. so caring, no matter what..and not fake about it.

"So.. what is it?" Emma had to softly ask, not being able to look at him though.

Jay sucked in a shakey breath, "Cocain." even saying it out loud made him want it. "Im sorry for putting you through this" he softly admits

"No harm" Emma teased shrugging a bit, "Least you're going to get better."

Jay frowned deeply, she had so much faith but...could he get better? It was so hard.. He watched her as she looked down smiling softly and he admired her

She was so beautiful.

He could always remember the way she smelt, the vanilla.

The way her curves were shaped and how her smile lit up a room.. yeah she drove him crazy but a good crazy.

Silence.

"I can't stop thinking about you" Jay suddenly admitted.

What did he have to lose?

Emma looked at him and they locked eyes. He looked so calm about itand she had a confused look on

Did he just say that?

"Jay.." Emma drifts not being able to know what to say

"I shouldn't of dragged you into this. Your better than it.. and you obviously been through it with someone already" Jay guessed

"It's why I wanna help you Jay" Emma confirms still looking down

Silence.

Jay softly put his hand on the further side of her face and she melted to his touch as he slowly turned her to face him

He begged silently for her to look at him while moving his head a bit to catch her eye and it worked.

He swallowed hard, "You\re the only reason I'm trying.." he confessed and her chest ached

_...oh my god.. _

Jay and her slowly closed eyes while he leaned down and Emma's lips were inches away from his

"I can't" Emma suddenly whispered and pulled away a bit while putting her hand on his which was lowered from her face.

In sadness he held her hand back tighter while looking down.

"I'll stop" he promised

"Not that easy" Emma admitted with a sad smile and looked down to his hand holding hers, she held back for reassurance but shook her head no, "We've done this before, and I'm with someone now." she looked him in the eye, "I hope you win this, but.."

"I'll get better." he said firmly, desperately. He wanted her so badly.. did she think he wanted her on his mind 24/7.. all he thought about, it killed him that she was with someone else.

"That's exactly what my Dad told my mom." Emma sniffed a bit and tears welled up. Jay's mouth hung a bit..so it was her Dad?

"..just wait" he says wanting to prove he can get through this and Emma gave a soft laugh as he looked back to her with a sad smile.

Silence.

"you might wanna leave" Jay admitted looking away from her and she gave a confused look, slightly hurt.

Did he hate her now?

"In other words I'm going to puke" Jay explained crawling up and Emma quickly shot up

"Oh, ew" Emma commented and went out closing the door behind her hearing him chuckle a bit.

She smiled a bit getting back into bed, thankful she couldn't hear any of that. She then frowned and curled into a little ball.

She hoped he got better..

She couldn't be with someone addicted or doing..that.

But she believed in him, and deep down, did want to be with him. Her heart was still thumping in her chest, she had tried so hard to not look so obvious infront of him.

Jay was leaning back against the tub thinking of her and catching his breath. He'd do it. He'd show her he could make her happy more than Peter ever could.

_**Some say love is not for sinners  
I believe that isn't true  
'Cause when I was finished sinning  
Love came down and showed me you**_

And you told me how to get there  
so I tried to find a way,  
I ran through the garden,  
but I tripped on the gate,  
but I tripped on the gate.

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
What are you doing to me?  
I'm so into you  
And the hardest part is knowing  
That I'll never follow through  
You're slowly killing me  
And I wish it wasn't true  
Cause I'm so into you**_


	11. Flirting With Destiny

"Jay admitted he loved you?" Manny exclaimed sitting in the Dot's booth with Emma who sat across

Love?!

"No-I" Emma stuttered and shook her head trying to get that word out of her head "Just couldn't stop thinking about me, I guess?" she says

"If the guys says it, he REALLY means it" Manny insists.

Emma just couldn't believe it. Barely anyone thought Jay could even feel that strongly so.. what was so specail about her? Was it for real? She couldn't stop replaying her and Jays bathroom scene

She's never felt like that before.. her heart pounding, wanting to kiss him so badly. She didn't even feel that with Peter.

"Peter's here" Manny said with a sigh, sitting up more and Emma turned her head quickly

"Hey" Emma greets loudly to Peter who came over and sat beside her

"Hey you" he smiled kissing her and pulls away glancing at Manny

Silence

"what are we talking about?" Peter asked glancing back at his girl friend who was shifting awkwardly in her seat

"Cheerleading" Manny helped Emma out

"Really?" Peter questions raising an eyebrow to Emma with a smile

"I was thinking of getting Emma into it" Manny admits

"Might be fun" Peter shrugged to Emma who just gave a fake smile nodding

"You just wanna see her in a uniform" Manny taunted and he rolled his eyes

"So?" he asked

"So your right, new porno tape" Manny gave a fake cheer to snicker biting into her fries bitterly, rolling her eyes. Creep.

"Manny" warned Emma not wanting this to happen right now

..she wondered what Jay was doing right now

"Witty" Peter taunted Manny back and Emma scoffed

"Thanks" Manny shot back with a wide fake smile

"You wanna leave?" Peter asked turning back to Emma who gave a sorry look

"I'm waiting for Mia and Darcy" Emma admits watching him get up and nodded to Manny, "This one wants me to tag along so we can all go shopping."

"Oh" he states putting hands in pockets looking around for those girls

"Something wrong?" Emma asked and he snapped his eyes back to hers

"Nope. Call me tonight?" he said leaning back to her

"No problem" Emma said kissing him back and he pulled away

"Bye Em" he smiled leaving

"cute" Manny said watching Emma turn away and start playing with her food

"What?" Emma asked looking back up to her best friend

"Nothing. I just said cute" Manny taunted and Emma gave her a 'I know what you're doing' look.

"I'm gonna go" Emma said getting up and Manny smiled watching her do so

"But you told Peter you were busy" she taunted again and Emma glared again

What was with Manny today?!

"Good bye!" Emma hollared going to the Dots door and leaving but laughed.

Emma skipped up her steps and opened the front door to her house and as soon as she got in she noticed Jay quickly get up from the couch going over to door

"Its just me" Emma said with a little laugh.

Jay looked a little on edge and went back to the couch after nodding. He wore his usual dark V shirt and dark jeans, his black hat backwards.

"Much music keeps replaying those newly weds" Jay told her as she walked over

"Jessica and Nick?" she asked a bit happily taking a liking to Nick Lachey. She sat down right next to him on the couch.

"Whatever it is I want it to stop" Jay bitters childishly and she stopped herself from laughing

"That's something you have to take up with the television producers" she teased

"Funny" he smirked glancing at her then back at the TV.

"I'm here all week" she joked sitting with him as he still watched her

"Where'd you go?" he curiously asked a bit quickly

He didn't like being lonely. Or maybe he didn't like her not being here with him..

"I only went to the Dot for an hour" Emma insists

"Really?" Jay asked. Emma watched him turn to the clock eyeing it and back to the television "Seemed longer.." he admits

Emma smiled a bit. She didn't know if Jay knew that was sweet to her or not but her heart was melting

"Were you with Peter?" Jay asked slowly still eyes on the television but even Emma knew he wasn't paying attention to it

So he really meant what he said?

"Only for a few minutes.." drifts Emma pulling her knees up to her chest

"I see.." he says

"What'd you do?" Emma asked deciding to change the subject

Jay looked at her and glanced at the television "that" he states.

"huh" Emma states with a nod.

That's boring

"Wanna go out?" Emma asked "Movies?", that place was safe

Right?

"That a date Nelson?" Jay teased looking to the blonde beside him

"Not when I have a boy friend" Emma teased back, trying to keep her heart steady. God, why was he such a damn flirt? And why'd she have to enjoy it so much

"We'll see how that goes" Jay taunted back and Emma hid her smile with a smirk

"Theres the Hogart we all know and try ignoring" Emma teased getting up and walking to the door

"You missed it" Jay insists standing as well

"lets just go" Emma laughed shaking her head and putting shoes on

"I don't know if I can drive" Jay admits looking at his hands. Emma grabbed one of those hands and he felt tingles.

"We'll walk then lazy" she joked and he followed her

"Your lazy" he shot back as she closed the door to laugh and it sung in his ears

"At least I don't waste my days watching the Newly Weds" Emma joked walking down the street with him

He liked the fresh air already..and just being with her, holding hands. God she was turning him into a corny sap!

"The blonde girl is really dumb" Jay admits about Jessica Simpson

"Watch it" Emma warned being blonde herself.


	12. Don't Let Me Go

"Didn't take Adam Sandler for a gay guy" Jay admitted walking out of the movies with Emma

They just saw I now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

"He was only acting" Emma told Jay while slowly walking out, giving him a look like what he said was predictable out of his outh.

"Did a pretty good job" Jay joked

"What's wrong with guys liking guys?" Emma asked crossing her arms at Jay

"Nothing I guess. Just, how does it happen?" Jay smirked stopping with her

"attraction I guess?" Emma asked standing in front of him and Jay raised an eyebrow..guess he could relate to that.

"Emma" came a voice splitting the two apart to turn to the one and only-

"Peter?" Emma asked standing beside Jay infront of the movies as Peter went over

"Thought you said you were with the girls today" Peter asked glancing at Jay who rolled his eyes at him

"It's night genius" Jay boredly reminded.

"What are you doing with him?" Peter asked Emma, taking her hand and moving her closer to him.

Jay raised an eyebrow at him and glanced at the the big movie theatre behind them like it wasn't obvious that she was just watching a movie..at the movie _theatre_.

Emma tried hard not to smile seeing Jay's reaction to that. Peter glared watching Jay leave and walk away a few steps, lighting a cigerette and then turned back to Emma.

"we just saw a movie Peter" Emma huffed seeing Peters glare. Rude, much?

"You sure about that?" Peter snapped

"positive. I don't know what your thinking Peter" Emma shot back madly

"Fine, whatever" Peter bitters dropping the subject

"What are you doing here?" Emma suddenly asked looking around

"Uh. Nothing" Peter quickly said

"nothing?" Emma repeated

"short cut to home" Peter says going around her

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I'll see you later?" Peter kissed her.

Jay glanced over to clench his jaw and look away, exhaling his smoke from his heavy lungs. Jealousy sucked..

"Can I get a light?" came the voice of Amy.

Jay glanced at her, then for a moment at Emma, waving goodbye to her Prince Charming.

He nodded and got his liter out while he held his own lit cigerette in his mouth. Amy leaned in with hers and let him light it for her.

Emma turned back to Jay to stop in her tracks, seeing the moment. Amy exhaled the now lit smoke and leaned back, smirking up at Jay who had his eyes locked on her too. Emma's blood boiled with jealousy.. if this was him trying to make a point, it was a rude one.

She never tried to shove Peter into his face.. at least she _knew _Jay could have any girl he wanted, maybe that's another reason why she was so scared to be with him.

Amy noticed Emma and awkwardly shifted seeing Jay being on some sort of friend basis with the Goody two shoes now so pretended to be nice.

"Hey Emma.." she drifts, sizing the year younger girl up.

Emma just nodded and tried to muster a smile, wrapping her arms around her and Jay cornered his eyes to sneak a glance at her.

"I'm having a party this weekend. You guys should come." amy said but her eyes stayed on Jay, clearly not that hyped up overasking Emma.

Even Emma replied quickly, "Can't. Sorry."

Amy just kept her eyes on Jay who flicked his smoke away and looked at the ground to sneak another glance at Emma.. he didn't want to hurt her, just wanted her to see how it felt to him.

"I'll see you there." Jay nodded to Amy who smirked widely.

Emma just rolled her brown eyes and turned, beginning to walk home and Jay nodded as a goodbye to Amy before following, eyeing Emma closely from behind.

As they got home and Emma opened the door, she barely gave time for Jay to get in before shutting it even on him.

Jay cringed but gave a 'yeah, expected' smile and nod. He closed the door the right way as she turned, crossing her arms.

"You don't look happy." he taunted, throwing his hat off.

Emma just glared, "I'm gonna sleep in my Mothers room." she started going up the stairs "You can have my room to _yourself."_

**Slam.**

When she slammed the door Jay sighed and looked at the stairs she went up, to slowly go down his towards her room.

He fell on her bed and shut his eyes, tired. Not tired but just sick and tired of not being able to just be straight with her.

He could barely sleep that night with her not being with him, and she was having the same problem.

The next day..

Manny and Emma tanned outside in the sunlight, in her backyard by the pool.

"So what? Your just not on speaking terms?" Manny asked, wearing her favorite white sunglasses.

Emma wore none and rocked her red bikini, her hair in a messy high bun, "Yup."

She told Manny what happened but for some reason, Manny was getting a kick out of it.

"So what you're saying is you found someone whose as stubborn as you."

"Manny! I need you to be on my side." Emma groaned and tossed over to be on her back.

"I can't be on your side when you got all these hot guys fighting over you. I'm jealous!" Manny insisted.

Emma opened her eyes giving her a look, "So you think Peter's hot?"

"Before he pissed me off, yes, but Jay? Such a babe." she admitted.

Emma shoved her a bit, "You didn't seem to like me with him before!" she exclaimed, not believing Manny was saying this now.

She couldn't help but feel a possesive feeling either when Manny called HER Jay a babe.

Manny put her sunglasses on her head while rolling her eyes, "You both were in a dark place, it wasn't healthy back then."

"So what?" Emma got lost in thought, "You want me to go for Jay?" she asked a bit hopefully then shook her head.

Manny shrugged, "Go for who you want... and by the look in your eye.. it seems to be Jay." she smirked "You're obvious."

"He's complicated."

"You're complicated." Manny reminded.

"He's different." Emma tried to keep fighting.

Manny huffed, "And you're not the typical girl either, Em."

"He's addicted to coke." Emma blurted out and Manny snapped up. Emma sighed and sat up.. here we go.

"WHAT?!"

Emma tried to explain, "He's not only looking for a place to stay, he's trying to beat his addiction and stay away from the bad."

"Guess you're good when it comes to that." mumbled Manny to then scoff, "He should really just go to rehab."

Emma looked down sadly and Manny felt for her.

"I don't want him to go." Emma whispered, confessing. Her heart sunk when she thought of Jay going..what if he didn't come back?

Manny stared in awe, "You're falling for Jay Hogart."

Emma groaned and got up, grabbing her towel and walked back into the house.

Manny blinked. Wow. She thought having a long distance relationship was bad..

Manny and Emma had a slumber that night and Jay didn't come home. Emma again, barely slept. And instead of texting her boyfriend back, she was calling Jay's phone, hoping he didn't slip and come to his cravings.

Manny had to get up earlier for her great summer job, so Emma laid in her bed alone and still couldn't muster the strength to get up until a weight was pressed onto the bed beside her

Emma's back was turned but knew it was him, and he got comfy beside her and stared at the back of her head, admiring her blonde hair.

"Did you do anything?" Emma heard her voice crack. God, she was falling for him and it was the scariest feeling in the world.

"No." he answered back, and seemed to be telling the truth as he let his eyes can more down her back, over her bare arms and swallowed hard.

Emma turned so they could be face to face and he looked sober enough too. Her heart fluttered happily and he smirked lazily seeing the justified look on her face.

"Good."

"Do I get a cookie?" he teased playfully. He hated not speaking to her, even if it's not even been two days.

She laughed and it sung in his ears.


	13. Fallin Even More Inlove with You

"Let's stay in bed all day." Jay offered, sleeping on his stomach as Emma woke up around 1pm and told him they should get up.

Emma gasped, "We can watch Disney movies!"

Jay opened one eye at her and corrected, "_You _can watch disney movies."

They now both sat on her bed watching The Fox and The Hound on her tv. They were staring watching the saddest part of the movie together and they had pizza and junk food all around them.

Emma couldn't help but smile, cornering her eyes to sneak a glance at Jay's hard look, trying to be so manly as she even wiped a tear at the fox claiming to be best friends with the hound FOREVER.

"You're loving this." Emma told Jay and he looked at her stunned, she laughed, "You are really loving this."

He glared to decline but rolled his eyes giving up, "It's just.." he drifts looking around and waves his finger at the tv, "Why couldn't they just be fucking friends!"

Emma lifted an eyebrow impressed and then gawked his soft side, "Awwwww." she put a hand on his shoulder, "You have feelings." she teased him already knowing he did.

She was probably the only one who knew.

"Get away from me." he demanded, but was smirking.

"Wana watch Cinderella now?" Emma excitingly asked, clapping her hands together.

Jay cracked another pop open that was laying around their junk food, he could get use to this. Food, Emma, movies, Emma, teasing, Emma..

"What about CinderEmma? And you can clean this mess up." Jay taunted, glancing down at their mess as she gasped and laughed, playfully hitting his chest and then arm as he laughed at her and then they were inturuppted by her phone

Jay frowned seeing the Caller ID. Peter Pan.

Emma looked at it too and also saw Peter Pan written on her screen, "Jay!" she exclaimed, she did not save Peter's name like that!

Jay smirked devishly as she picked up

"Hello?" she giggled a bit.

"We need to talk." Peter told her.

Emma coughed awkwardly and tried to keep the conversation private, "About what?"

"About you living with another guy behind my back." came Peter's snap.

Emmas mouth dropped and so did her phone.

_**Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying**_

I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why


	14. Chemicals React

"You don't owe him an explanation!" Jay told Emma, trying to make her stay and not go meet Peter.

Emma put on her jacket and sighed, "I won't tell him what you're messed up in but he needs to know there isn't anything going on." Emma wasn't that type of girl and she didn't want that reputation.

Jay madly leaned on the wall, there really wasn't anything going on, to his dislike. Peter was like an annoying fly, he wish he could just get rid of him.

Emma opened the door to then abruptly stop, Peter was already there and he glared behind her, seeing Jay inside.

"SO?" Peter barked at Emma.

"Peter I answered you honestly, he IS staying here." she told him and shrugged helplessly, "I told you he's got some things to figure out.. you know me, I can't help but..help." she admitted.

Espashally with people that were a big part of her life.

"I doubt help is really what he's looking for from you." Peter sneered, glaring at Jay again who leaned off the wall.

"Hey Poin Dexter" Jay simply said, walking up behind Emma, "I don't like you" Jay stated innocently, "So watch your mouth."

Emma groaned, trying to push Jay back into the house knowing he was the one to fear in this situation.

"I don't know what else to say." Emma told Peter honestly, "He's a friend in need." she explained about Jay, "**You** are my boyfriend."

Peter clenched his jaw but nodded slowly, eyeing between them...then why did he sense so much _something_ between them when around them.

Jay looked away from the two when Peter leaned in and kissed Emma deeply, "Ok." he whispered, forgiving her.

Emma smiled sadly, "So we'll talk later?" she asked and he nodded

"Call me." he said before leaving and she nodded back, closing the door and turning to Jay who had a dull look on his face, staring right at her.

"What?" Emma asked uneasily.

Jay shrugged, looking away, "You two sorta lack..."

Emma crossed her arms, "Lack what?" she watched him grab his keys and put on his hat, "Where are you going?"

Jay just sighed while walking around her but stopped and turned to her retreating form, putting a hand o n her waist as he stood so close.

Emma's heart began to pound as his breath tickled the back of her neck then ear as he whispered, "Chemistry."

With that, he was out the door and into his honda civic and Emma turned, closing the front door after seeing his car go out

She leaned against the door and closed her eyes.

She needed a nap.

_"Hey babe." Peter said into Emma's phone, Emma was getting ready and looked pretty damn nice, wearing a short tight red strapless dress that stopped right before her knee, and her hair was pin straight with her side bangs perfectly shaped out. _

_"Hey." she greeted back, "Almost ready!" she declared, glancing out her window, it was night, he was taking her for a date._

_"Perfect, I'll meet you in 10?" _

_"Sounds great." Emma hung up and put on some gold dangly earrings. Peter's family kinda came from a rich side..he always took her for fancy dinners and for once she wasn't going to look so cheap.._

_Suddenly as she stared at herself in the mirror, she didn't feel happy.. til two strong arms went around her tiny waist, that familiar breath ticking the side of her neck as he held her from behind and she melted almost hopelessly into him._

_"Don't go with him." he spoke deeply and desperately too. _

_"Jay.." Emma pouted sadly, and bit her lip when his hands slowly crept up her body. _

_Emma landed on the bed with him on top, and he thrusted right inside of her, not wasting anytime. Emma cried out and pushed her hips up into him, he was guiding in and out of her, and her hands smoothed down his perfectly musceled arms and his back._

_Jay kissed around her neck and crashed his lips to hers. Fireworks were exploding inside of her and she moaned and pulled away from the kiss to cry out pleasurably when he sped up._

_He pumped into her so possessively, and his hands carressed her hair so lovingly._

_"You don't want him" Jay told her, and she arched back feeling herself getting there, closing her eyes, "Say it." he demanded of her and she cried out again, lifting herself back to him and looking passionately into his eyes._

_"I want you." she panted and cried, "Just you." she felt him explode right inside her_

Emma woke up with a jump, sweating all over as she woke from her dream...her.. sex dream? Of Jay? She panted and caught her breath, giving herself a mental kick in the head and tried to shake her head.

God she hadn't even lost her virginity and Jay was making her have sex dreams! ? Ok he wasn't forcing her, it was definatly her mind but still. . this wasn't good.

Meanwhile, Jay was spending the night at Spinners.

He felt bad, maybe he should of stayed with Emma but he was just pretty fucking confused right now. fuck.. he laid on the couch with Spinner's extra comforter on top of him.. sleeping beside Emma would of been much much more comfortable.

Maybe he should go home..

_"Emma?" Jay closed the door, he didn't mean to be so loud, so late, but he felt it was best to just come home. Well, Emma's home._

_The lights were out, just a dim light from the window from outside, but he saw her figure coming over to him and leaned on the wall, "Why'd you go." came her sweet innocent voice._

_Jay sighed, walking over to her and she almost looked pouty, sticking her lower lip out a bit further and her big beautiful brown eyes staring up at him, "Can't stand your boyfriend.." he laughed slightly, looking down at her._

_Jesus..what..was she wearing_

_Emma smiled softly, almost seducingly, and she wore a lace string top that looked like a mini dress, her breasts pretty visibly shown sept for the lace that hid her nipples. "Face it, you couldn't stand anyone with little ol' me." Emma declared, wrapping her hands around his _

_Jay closed his eyes, this was too good, it had to be a dream. "I couldn't." he admitted and then gripped her hands that were in his and pushed them up against a wall._

_Emma yelped and bit her lip up to him in want as he had her pinned up, looking passionately down to her with need and hunger, and love._

_"Make me yours then." she whispered almost daringly and he leaned his head down, crashing his lip to hers and inserting his tounge that shepushed her tounge back against, making out pretty heavy as he let go of her hands and cupped her face as she moved her hands to his jeans, unzipping them and taking his member into her hands, stroking it the way she use to, so well at that too for such an innocent girl_

_"Ohhh fuck." Jay groaned and wanted to make love to her right there. She just smirked and slowly bent down, going to suck-_

Jay gasped in deeply waking up and groaned. He was still on Spinners couch. See? He knew it had to be a dream. . Emma was literally his dream girl.

Jay clenched his jaw, coming to terms he had to go take a _cold_ shower.


	15. Caught In The Act

Jay walked into the Nelson house to see Emma in the kitchen with Manny who was just about to leave and stopped when she saw him and was putting on her coat.

"Oh." she glanced at Emma who was washing dishes and didn't notice him yet, "Hey Jay." she slowly greets.

Jay just nodded and leaned on the kitchens door frame as Emma looked over her shoulder and back at the dishes, her eyes widening.

Act cool.

"See yeah guys later at the party." Manny said, and left.

Jay crossed his arms and coughed awkwardly, "Party?" he asked Emma.

Emma turned off the sink and turned around to him, Jay looked away, jesus, her hair was exactly the same as in his dream.

GET IT TOGETHER YOU WUSS! Jay's head screamed at him

"I told Manny she could have a small one here since my parents are gone and all.. might as well enjoy it." joked Emma.

More like she didn't want to be left alone with Jay tonight, and those dreams come true.

God she had to talk to Peter.

Jay raised an eyebrow, slightly impressed, "You, Greenpeace, are going to have a party." he teased amazed.

Emma cracked a smile out rolling her eyes, "Want something to eat?"

Jay shook his head no and stared down. Now and then he had his off days, craving that drug, and today was an off day.

Emma eyed him closer and kind of understood that.

"You want to lie down?" she asked.

He slowly lifted his eyes to her and leaned off the frame of the door, "You gonna watch a movie with me?" he asked, a bit hopeful.

Emma and him laid in her bed again, and she bit her lip trying to pretend it was all cool. She swallowed hard when she felt him laying almost right behind her and put an arm around her waist.. It was the middle of the movie and she finally turned her head to look at him, he was fast asleep.

she couldn't help but get a bit more comfortable and sink into him as he held her.

"PARTY TIME! OH!" Manny shrieked from the top of Emma's stairs and the two woke up from slumber to pull apart quickly.

Emma even shoved his arm off her. Maybe that was too much... she was just so startled.

Even Jay kinda looked at his arm and then her.. .fuck he would put it around her as he slept. He rolled his eyes at himself and sat up in bed as Emma got off.

Manny coughed and pointed up the stairs, "I brought Mia and Darcy to help decorate."

Emma just nodded walking quickly passed her and up the stairs. Manny turned to Jay and raised an eyebrow at him

He gave her a 'whats your problem' look and then scoffed, looking down.

the girls were all decorating the house with streamers and other stuff as Jay walked into the Tv room.

"Then he had the nerve to tell ME that Paige was nothing to him." Darcy was telling the girls probably another fight between her and Spinner.

Manny was blowing up balloons with Emma, "That's why I love having a long distance relationship with Craig."

"Jt is such a good father figure to Izzy." Mia said, in lala land

Jay rolled his eyes to the girl talk and saw Emma just kinda..sitting there, not even blowing the balloon Manny gave her.

"How's Peter, Emma?" Darcy couldn't help but ask, looking at the blonde and tilted her head, trying to catch her attention.

Emma blinked out of it and even Jay eyed her curiously, was she alright?

"Good, fine."

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Mia finally noticing Jay's presence and looked around at the girls for an explaination

Jay smirked, "Usual reaction I get from girls." he couldn't help it, it was just a remark begging to be said

Manny looked between him and Emma and tried to come up with an excuse, "Jay is.. helping us with the party. Since he knows everyone and knows how to throw one." she tried to laugh and nudge him, then awkwardly crossed her arms and nodded.

Emma even gave Manny a look but Darcy and Mia seemed to fall for it, "This means we're throwing a HUGE party then!?"

Emma gave Manny a death look

Music pounded so hard you could hear it viberate, and Emma was now dressed in her party clothes, black tight mini skirt and a white tank with a yellow lace sleeve shirt on top.

"No, no, not allowed in there." Emma said, stopping a couple from going to the basement.

"Emma, if anyone breaks anything, I'll take care of it." Manny insisted and handed her a cup, "Just have fun"

Emma sighed but nodded and looked around to the crowded areas of her house.

This was not good.

Mia came running over to them with a bad look on her face, "My ex is here, with his friends." she pointed.

"what's his name?" Manny asked over the music .

"Lucas." sighed Mia, shaking her head, "Isabella's dad."

Manny and Emma shared a look, well, hopefully there was no drama tonight. They looked over at Lucas who looked buff, older and dangerous.. and he walked up right to Jay

Emma shook her head laughing slightly, course he'd know Jay.

"Dude, sweet party!" Lucas told Jay who was just leaning on the wall, "We should call the montreal crew." he said.

Jay shook his head no, "No man, not my place." he told Luke and looked at his friends to notice Aaron following from the back.

OH shit.

"Even better!"

"Not **here**, Vaughn." hissed Jay and he stood straight up, trying to avoid contact with Aaron.

This was his drug dealer. His OLD drug dealer.

"Alright I got it. This your grandma's place or something?" Lucas joked since Jay was being so protective of it.

Suddenly the girls squished over to them, "Just so you know just because you're here doesn't mean I have to talk to you." Mia told Lucas.

Manny, Emma, and even Jay gave kinda confused looks... but she just did?

Lucas laughed with his friends, "Right, babe." he just winked at her and she groaned madly and stormed off leaving the other girls there.

That's when Luke and all his friends noticed how attractive the girls were and even Aaron went and took a step infront of them.

"My ladys, would you like some party favors?" Aaron smirked at them and winked at the blonde, Emma.

Jay's body shook with anger and nerves, watching Emma put together that Aaron was talking about drugs, and he was a drug dealer.

They even connected eyes as Emma looked at Jay and probably thought the worse since she turned and left.

"Ouch." Aaron joked, looking back to Luke, "Just got rejected." he laughed and looked to Jay, "Man! Didn't see you there, good too see you!"

Jay just nodded, looking around.

Manny was still there and eyed between Aaron and Jay as Aaron leaned over to him, "Now I **know **_you_ want some party favors." he got a little bottle out of his jacket.

Jay grabbed his wrist and Manny saw how flustered Jay was feeling, "Get that shit out of my face." he told Aaron and shoved his arm back to him.

Aaron stumbled a bit and gave Jay a wierd look and watched the boy storm off. Manny smirked a little... Jay just said no.

Jay walked through the upstairs down the hall looking for Emma, she wasn't up there, just some really drunk teenagers.

Emma was headed to her basement though and sighed, going down the stairs to stop on her steps seeing two familiar faces making out on **her** bed

"Peter?"


	16. How Stupid Could I Be

Peter split from Darcy who gasped and cringed, "Emma."

"Shut up." Emma sternly said, glaring at Peter but speaking to Darcy who was just going to come up with the worse excuse.

'I didn't mean to' 'I'm sorry' 'I thought it was you'

"Get out." Emma finally looked at Darcy who nodded and got up, running by her and up the stairs

Peter sat there and looked right at her and she slowly went over to him.

Peter sighed and stood up, "How's it-"

_**SLAP!**_

Emma shook her hand a bit by how hard she slapped him across the face, "how's it FEEL?" she snapped, "Was that what you were going to say?"

Peter looked away from her, rubbing his cheek.

Emma snickered at him, "You're pathetic." as she walked away Peter glared.

"That's what you get for cheating on me." he confirmed.

Emma laughed bitterly and turned, "Sad part is, I didn't." she shrugged, "I shoulda." she admitted and looked up in wonder, would of been worth it with the guy on her mind. she looked back at Peter, "We're over."

She turned again and walked up the stairs but as she walked out her door, he grabbed her, even infront of everyone at the party.

"we're not over until **I** say we're over, Emma." he snapped.

Emma glared harshly, "I'm pretty sure we're over Peter, you didn't even deserve the chance to begin with." she snapped.

Some people looked over and glanced at the scene and around at another, wondering if they should split it apart.

"Well isn't _he _teaching you how to have a smart ass mouth." Peter angered and then his mouth dropped painfully when a hand went on the back of his neck, hard, and lurred him away from Emma

"She's always been a smart ass." Jay assured, standing there now.

Emma's mouth dropped and looked from him and back to Peter. Jay threw him away from Emma and into the other wall so hard he even fall, crawled up and held his shoulder

"Slut." Peter sneered and went to walk off.

Jay tilted his head, oh yeah? Jesus this guy ever learned. He went to chase after him and Emma grabbed his wrist

"Don't." she begged and he turned, bothered that she wouldn't let him but sighed, and nodded.

It was going to take a while to cool down himself though. No one called his Greenpeace a slut.

"Party over." Jay yelled out and everyone groaned but started to form out.

What was left was him, Emma, Manny and Spinner who was looking around frantically as he walked over to them threw all the left over trash from the party.

"Have you seen Darcy?" he asked.

Jay shook his head no as Manny shrugged, Emma bluntly replied, "Last time I saw her she was making out with Peter on my bed." with that, she turned and went down back to her room.

Spinner's mouth fell and even Jay blinked, woah

"Night guys." Manny said, patting the two on the back and left down the stairs to follow Emma.

Emma was lying down when Manny got to her and sadly laid down beside her, hugging Emma from behind.. the girl was crying

"Em, Peters a lame ass." Manny confirmed

Emma laughed but still trembled, "Not crying over him." she admitted and sniffed, "Crying cause I tried to be the _good_ person and I missed so many chances to be with.."

"Jay?" Manny guessed, hugging Emma tighter as the blonde closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

After a few moments, Manny tried to wonder what could make her best friend feel better.

"Jay's drug dealer was here tonight." Manny said and smiled softly when Emma instantly sat up, worried, "Girl...you're in love." she declared.

Emma wiped her tears, "That Aaron guy?" she asked, but Manny knew that wasn't the question she wanted to ask.

Manny nodded then answered the mystery question, "Jay said no and shoved him away."

Emma smiled sadly and her heart sunk for him. Good. She then saddened..

"How do I know if he even wants me anymore?" she asked Manny about Jay, "He could be over it, I even said I couldn't.. then kept shoving Peter into his face."

"You gotta try." shrugged Manny.

Emma frowned but nodded. Try. Like Jay was trying for her.

Manny had left and when Spinner left too it was just Jay trying to clean up the mess when Emma came out of her room now wearing her white tank top and comfortable plaid pj pants. She looked comfy.

Jay smirked, "Partied out?" he teased but gave her a worried look as she seemed, upset.

Emma took a deep breath and just nodded, grabbing a few beer bottles and throwing it into the trash he held.

He watched her look around for more trash and kept cleaning and tilted his head, "he's an idiot." he softly said.

Emma saddly tossed more stuff into the garbage before lifting her eyes up at him and got lost into his piercing grey eyes.

She just shrugged and nodded, going back to cleaning. She didn't want him to think he was rebound so she'd wait a bit til she could finally say something to him, maybe not say anything til he was completely clean for atleast a month.

She watched him at the corner of her eye going back to cleaning up the party **she **threw. she didn't want to be the girl who swears to everyone he's changed, he had to of **really **changed

Only time can tell.

_**how stupid could I be  
a simpleton could see  
that you're no good for me  
but you're the only one I see**_

(sarah mclaughlin- stupid)


	17. The Ex is Back In Town

"So?" Emma asked Jay.

They sat at the kitchen table as Manny came in, yawning, and saw the two sharing a plate of pancakes.

By the look of the powder on Emma's chin, she was trying to cook. Manny smirked as she watched the hard look cross Jay's face as he chewed.

Emma wasn't the best cook.

He opened his mouth to then smirk, not being able to hide it, "It's horrible."

Emma laughed and shoved him, dropping her own fork and not even going to try it herself, she believed it. Jay laughed with her and picked up his water, taking a sip.

"I'm going to go to Mia's for a bit." Manny told them, picking her purse up, "stay out of trouble." she teased the two.

"See yeah." came Jay's reply, sipping his water again as Emma got up and grabbed their plate, going to the garbage.

"I'll never slave over the oven for you again." Emma pouted, putting the food in the trash.

Jay laughed again as Manny left out the door and got up, "I got to go too." he admitted, he had..plans.

"I'm going to be alone all day?" Emma feared. It's been a while..she was so use to him or atleast Manny.

He stopped infront of her smirking and brought his hand up, Emma's breath stopped as his thumb went on her chin, but he whiped that pancake powder off.

Emma blushed but smiled, her heart skipping.

"You can meet me at the dot later." he shrugged, but hoping she would.

"Maybe." she taunted, as if she wouldn't but probably would. She was obvious.

His smirk turned to a grin as he grabbed his keys, "See you later then."

"Maybe!" she repeated, trying not to look so obvious and he chuckled, shutting the door behind him.

THE DOT LATER...

"That's a lot of coffee for one small girl." Jay informed Emma, leaning on the counter as she asked Spinner for more sugar.

"Look whose talking?" taunted Emma, compairing her small mug to Jay's huge one.

From behind, Manny came up and seemed to be in a hurry, "Em."

"hey!" Emma greeted back.

"This is hot chocolate." Jay informed Emma, back to their conversation and pointing at his mug.

"Ofcourse it is." Emma rolled her eyes smiling.

"Emma we should really talk." Manny panted.

Emma looked back and gave a look but nodded and shrugged, "Ok, just waiting for my order."

"But-"

Jay cut off Manny and said to Emma, "You think you are more mature than me just because you're drinking loads of coffee?" he snickered, "That stuff is as addicting as drugs."

Emma gave him a look, not liking when he brought up drugs, he just grinned and shrugged.

"Ok, Emma, please, lets talk" Manny blurted out, now both Jay and Emma turned.

"What is it?" Emma asked concerned until they saw someone creeping up behind Manny.

Sean Cameron.

Emma's mouth dropped as did Jay's and Manny slowly nodded.

Yeah.

THAT'S what she wanted to warn Emma about...

Jay picked his mouth up and cornered his eyes at Emma, who stared in shock at Sean who smiled. Jay tensed up.

"Hey guys.." Sean greeted them.

"The KING, has returned." Spinner joked, leaning on the counter and qouting LIon King.

"Cameron." coughed Jay, stepping a bit infront of Emma so the two would stop staring at another, why was he getting all rattled up?

"Hey." Sean nodded and shook hands with his old pal, "Thought I should come and finally visit."

Jay tilted his head, now? Of all fucking times.

"So how is Wasaga?" Emma asked Sean, sitting in a big booth with him, Manny, Jay and Spinner

Manny glanced between the two and over at Jay who just tapped his mug, looking down at it hard. Did Emma even notice how uncomfortable Jay was right now?

"Great as always." joked Sean, "Miss everyone here though." he glanced at Emma longingly when he said that.

Emma didn't catch it and was sipping her coffee now.

"We should have a party!" Spinner insisted, "Cameron is back home!"

"Not permantely.." drifted Sean to shrug, "So far.."

Jay looked up and cornered his eyes. Really? That just put the fucking icing on the cake. Sean was waiting for a REASON to stay and that was probably Emma.

"You didn't bring your girl friend?" Emma asked Sean, "I liked her." she remembered meeting her.

Sean coughed awkwardly, "We broke up."

"Oh..sorry."

Manny wanted to shut her eyes and groan. Not this again.

"We can party at my place then, tons of chicks." winked Spinner.

"Where are YOU going to find chicks?" taunted Jay, a bit more bitterly then he attended.

Spinner smirked, thankfully not noticing the bitterness, "That's where you come in."

Emma bit the inside of her cheek.

"I'm in." breaths Sean to then blink, "For uh, the party." he looked at Emma, "not the girls."

Jay's blood boiled.

Emma nervously scratched the back of her neck and then they all made plans to be at Spinners for 9.

Manny and Emma walked home, since Jay decided he was going else where.

"Where do you think hes going?" Emma asked curiously.

Manny walked glumly, "who knows." if she was Jay, she'd be running for the hills too. Sean was like a ticking bomb waiting to go off when around Emma.

"Wierd that Sean came back to visit." Emma admitted.

Manny stopped in her tracks and had to say it, "Please tell me your over him," she groaned, "You're going to make me say it."

"Say what?" laughed Emma, "And why do you need my confirmation that I'm over him?"

"Are you?" snapped Manny to then put her arms out, "I thought I saw something between you and Jay, you're going to give that up? You finally have something that could be so..real."

Emma went red and looked around before muttering, "I'm over Sean, Manny. I'm just wondering now if Jay is over me."

Manny saddened.

Emma sighed and began walking back home again like a zombie, "he hasn't tried anything since.." she couldn't even remember, and groaned again.

"Hmm.." Manny said outloud.

Emma turned her head sharply, "Hm what? Whenever you hmm it's never good."

"Oh come on, this could be good, the ex back in town? And not just any ex."

"Manny what are you up to."

"Just saying if you want Jay to make your move.." Manny sang in a taunting voice, walking ahead as Emma raised her eyebrows.

Was Manny insisting Emma should use this to her adventage? Try and make Jay jealous.. see if he still had feelings.

Emma smiled.

It was the perfect plan.


	18. Nobody Said It'd Be Easy

Jay went at it at his punching bag in Spinner's basement..

Maybe, yes, someone was on his mind as he worked out but come on, his anger was understandable. Cameron couldn't of picked a worse time.

"hey!" Spinner called from upstairs.

Jay stopped punching and panted, looking up the stairs.

"Wana come pick up some beers with me before the party?" he called back down.

Jay nodded and went up.

"Sooooo." Manny sat on Emma's bed with her

Emma sighed sadly, Jay hadn't come home all day nor night, he must of stayed at Spinners.

Emma's phone buzzed and Manny looked at it to smirk, "Sean." she confirmed, passing her phone to Emma, "Tell him you can't wait to hangout."

Emma sat up more and shook her head, "Isn't it mean to kinda play this game?" Emma asked.

She felt her and Jay were just...more than this.

"If you want the truth to come out you gotta go to extremes." Manny informed.

Emma bit her lower lip until Manny grabbed her hand, "What?"

"Got to pick out a hot out fit!"

In the end, Emma came out wearing a high bun on her head, smokey make up and black mini strapless dress, her black high heels showing off her long tanned legs

"Oh yeah, I did good. "smirked Manny..and then they were off to the party.

Most people surrounded Sean at the party, but when he saw Emma and Manny enter he squished through the crowd and went over.

Jay rolled his eyes across the room when he saw this and took a big swig of his beer bottle..

"Hey Jay." purred Amy, coming over to him.

He nodded in greetment.

"Hey." Sean called over the music to Emma and Manny, passing them both red cups with booze in it.

Emma nervously held it and looked around as Manny and Sean talked.

This was silly, stupid even, what was she thinking? She caught Jay's eye and glanced to Amy trying to get close to him and he had a unreadable look until he looked away.

Emma shook her head and put her drink on a side table and turned to go.

"Hey." a voice said, grabbing her back. Sean, and Manny was gone.

Emma shook her head again, this was a bad idea, "I shouldn't of come." she muttered

"Why?" he seemed to almost pout

"Not.." Emma huffed, "Sorry, we are friends it's just.. I have a lot going on right now."

"So enjoy a night out, with an old friend." smiled Sean but that smile said so much more and Emma couldn't deal with that.

Sean was like her old addiction, and she was so over it, it was bad for her. Oh my god. So Jay and her had that in common.. and Jay needed her help..so maybe this time, Emma needed his.

"You okay?"

Emma blinked out of it, glancing at little old Amy still flirting with Jay.

"Better than ever." smirked Emma, passing by Sean and leaving him in the dust as she went over to Jay.

Sean curiously turned and watched her go over to his friend.

Jay stood with Amy, swallowing his beer down his hard and looking around boredly, trying to avoid glancing where Emma was with Sean, not seeing her come up from behind.

"Uh, excuse you." amy whined when Emma went between them shutting her out and Jay looked down at Emma who stopped infront of him and he looked confused until she leaned up with a sly smile on her face.

Jay was in completely shock, Emma put one hand on his shoulder and the other on his jawline and as if naturally, he leaned down to her too, crashing his lips to her needful ones and the two kissed deeply. It was like they didn't even need to speak.

Jay smoothed his hands around her face now and he kissed her harder, in full want and need and she moaned into the kiss, pressing up right against his body as she kissed back until breathless.

He let out a deep breath and blinked his eyes open in shock , bringing his hands down to her hips. She blushed but laughed, shrugging when he raised an eyebrow.

"where'd that come from?" he teased, his heart speeding wildly. Damn, he was in love.

From behind them, Manny smirked and noticed almost everyone in the room just staring, plus Sean.

Emma played with her hands, "I guess I needed you more than you needed me."

He smirked and leaned down, whispering huskily, "I think you estimate how much I want you."

"Need." Emma corrected and his smirk grew wider.

"I know what I said." he leaned in for another to kiss until BAM!

Emma gasped jumping back and Jay stumbled just a bit back, rubbing his jaw but nodded, Sean had punched him, saw that coming.

"What the hell is this!?" Sean snapped, shaking his hand. He hit him pretty hard.

Emma's mouth hung in shock and went to yell at Sean but Jay spoke up, "What'd it look like?" he taunted going back up to him face to face.

Sean glared madly, "You were suppose to be my best friend!" he shoved him back.

Jay returned a rough shove and Sean's blood boiled.

"You were suppose to be over her!" yelled Jay madly.

"guys stop!" Emma yelled when Jay shoved him again

Sean tackled Jay down and Jay grabbed Sean hard, rolling over and bringing Sean to the floor and sending a punch his way.

Spinner and some guys raced into the fight trying to tear them apart and when they did the guys were panting.

"We're done!" Sean snapped at Jay and shoved Spinner off of him and glared at Emma, "You're smart Emma." he pointed at Jay, "And you know he's not for you. He's Jay HOGART! He doesn't give a shit about anything but himself."

"That's not true." EMma said shaking her head but upset Sean was doing this infront of everyone right now.

Guys held Jay back tighter when he tried to go at Sean again.

"if you fall for his act.." drifted Sean to Emma shaking his head, "You're just another notch on his belt, a trophy."

Emma's mouth fell when he stormed passed and she slowly looked back at Jay who gave her a look, like she had to not believe any thing Sean had just said but for some reason, Emma felt unsure. She's never felt this strongly about anyone, and if Jay wasn't as sure about this as she was, she'd just fall apart.

"Alright party over." muttered Spinner to everyone.

Manny sadly watched everyone go and stood next to Spinner, watching Jay slowly walk back up to Emma, whispering things into her ear before they decided it was best to go too.


	19. I Won't Give Up On Us

Emma sat on her bed, untying her high heels slowly as Jay walked down the steps slowly, watching her.

Was she regretting the kiss?

Emma bit her lip, her back was to him but knew he was behind her and standing there, watching her. Her heart was racing but she closed her eyes painfully.

She really hoped she could trust her gut that he had changed.

"don't." his voice spoke up.

She swallowed hard and looked over her shoulder, "What?" she asked as if she wasn't thinking about anything.

He shook his head at her and went around the bed to stand infront of her.

Emma looked away and he bent down, cupping her face to make her look down and focus on him. He stared up seriously.

"Don't take it back." he breathed shakingly, "Because back there.." he drifted off, thinking about that kiss, "That was the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Emma smiled blushing a bit but looked down sadly.

He shook his head again, "Sean doesn't know me anymore." he confirmed and Emma looked into his eyes as he went on, "Yeah I use to be a bad guy, I'm still not perfect but I'd NEVER do anything to hurt _you_, you're.."

Emma tilted her head, watching him look for a word for her and he nervously ran a hand down his face.

"You're everything to me." he looked down as if embarressed to finally admit it, "Your the one good thing I've ever had." he looked back up at her.

Emma sniffed but smiled.

"I won't fuck it up." he promised, "Please, just give me that chance to proveit."

"I wasn't never not going to." she whispered.

He licked his lips nervously, "I thought when Sean came back.."

"I'd go back to him?" Emma snorted rolling her eyes, "Sean's as bad as cocain for me."

Jay smiled sadly and teased, "Cocain would of probably put you through less hell." he got playfully shoved and he leaned up as she laughed and captured her lips again.

She sighed and kissed back, turning passionate as he bent back up and over her, crawling onto the bed himself.

Emma clung to him and he breathed heavily between the kiss, "I love you." he whispered and Emma stared up at him.

"You do?" her voice cracked.

He untied her hair and it fell from her bun and he ran his hands through it admiringly and it framed her beautiful face.

He nodded and she smiled softly, "Think I love you too." she bit her lower lip when he began sucking on her neck.

"Say you know." he mumbled against her smooth skin.

Emma giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck, "I know I love Jay Hogart."

he smirked against her neck and kissed it once more until he trailed down her body, leaving kisses on her chest stomach and then thighs.

Emma sucked in a breath when he began to slowly rise her dress up her thighs and she leaned up, kissing him again deeply and unbuttoning his jeans.

_**Well, I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up**_

And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up

Jay was moving inside of Emma at normal speed, panting and groaning. Emma whimpered trying to get use to the pain and began to feel pleasure, moaning with her eyes shut

He kissed her forehead and moved a bit slower, "You okay?" he whispered and she whimpered once more but nodded and bit her lower lip.

Jay traced his finger down her cheek, admiring her and he stayed still as she slowly opened her eyes lovingly up at him and leaned up, kissing him, assuring him she was okay and cried out into his mouth as he worked inside of her again and she was seeing stars.

"Jayy." she begged.


	20. My World Is Upside Down

"Still feel achy?" Jays husky voice asked, wrapping his arms from behind Emma who chewed on a carrot she was chopping up in the kitchen.

Emma chewed and smirked, cornering her eyes at him behind her and shook her head no.

"Good." he smirked.

Emma couldn't believe it, the night before she finally gave it up, her biggest pride, to Jay Hogart. She didn't regret a thing.

Emma swallowed hard when his hands roamed around her hips to the front of her stomach and bit her lip. He could be so seductive.. she then gasped when the door bell rang.

Who had to interrupt this NOW? Of all times.

She giggled when she even heard Jay growl and groan, leaning on the kitchen table when she turned and walked over to the door

"Yeah?" Emma opened the door and looked up at two police officers. Her heart began to race

Jay tilted his head but couldn't see what was at the front door.

"Emma Nelson?" the officer said. Emma tied her hands behind her back, trying to motion her finger at Jay to go out the back door.

"Ya.."

"Jay Hogart happen to be staying here?" as soon as Jay heard those words, Jay took off, but the other bigger police officer heard Jay's eager movement and pushed past Emma.

Emma's eyes widened watching her back door fly open with the police officer chasing after Jay.

Jay jumped Emma's fence easily but so did the officer, and he couldn't even make it passed the driveway when the other officer with Emma caught him by surprise and caught him, slamming him up against the cop car.

"Stop struggling and you won't be charged, we just wanna get you some help with what you're mixed up in." the cop told Jay.

Jay breathed heavily but looked down sadly and stopped, this must of been about feeling the hospital after his overdose. He felt the cuffs go around his wrists and tighten, he cornered his eyes as the cop backed him off the car and opened the back door. Emma was on the porch, tears in her eyes and arms hugging around herself as Manny ran up the steps.

"what's going on?" Manny asked breathlessly, eyes bulging out.

Jay couldn't even look at Emma as he sat in the cop car. He felt like an absolute disappointment.

Jay now wore green hospital pants and a white v neck shirt, his hair brushing against his forehead as he sat at a white table.

He was in rehab.

Three months they gave him, since he ran off from the hospital and then the cops again.

"93 days." sighed Emma, sitting across the table from him and setting her purse down. She didn't look as hurt as the last time he saw her, more stone cold.

He stared down at his hands folded on the table.

He didn't belong here, he belonged with her.

"Emma."

"Why three months?" she cut him off, tilting her head and then he saw it, those tears threatning her eyes, he felt so bad his heart even stopped and he swallowed hard.

"One month for running from the cops.." he coughed, hearing his voice a bit crackily, "another for running off the first time after my O.D.." he drifted off, not being able to look at her.

Emma nodded slowly, "And another for what?" she wanted to hear him.

Hear him say it.

Jay's eyes read pain, it was full of it. She knew. She must of talked to a nurse...or his doctor. Maybe he did belong in here if not with her..

But how could he not belong with Emma? He couldn't see himself happy without.

"Because they found it still in my system.." he whispered, shutting his eyes when he heard her chair shriek back and her foot steps walking away.

He looked up after a few moments of cursing himself to see Manny leaning on the wall on Emma's side, she must of come with her for support.

"We all thought you stopped." Manny shook her head at him and came over, sitting down.

He exhaled, "The day Emma made horrible pancakes." he laughed but looked so sad and frowned deeply after, looking back down.

Those were 'his..plans'. that day.

"I just wanted a little, just a little so it wasn't so cold turkey." Jay tried to explain.

"You were doing okay off it!"

Jay shook his head no, he wasn't, "It was on my mind as much as Emma was." he knew that wasn't right.

"You couldn't pick her over it?" Manny saddened.

"I was!" snapped Jay madly, "I.." he drifted off and confessed, "I did it when Sean came back, and I went to Spinners house, remembered I had it, thought she was going to pick him over me, so I did it.."

"The night of the party."

Jay nodded and rubbed down his face, he was so upset and run down.

Manny slowly nodded, kind of understandable, "maybe you need this." she confirmed, pointing around the hospital.

"How am I suppose to make things right with her while being in here?!" hissed Jay. Three months? That wasn't fair!

Manny shrugged, "the first thing you should be doing to win her back Jay, IS this." she confirmed, standing up.

"then what?" Jay asked desperately, looking up at her hopefully.

"You figure it out." she said and left.

Jay stared off into space until he put his head into his hands. A screw up, that's what he was and everyone was right.

A nurse led him back to his room and Jay stood in his room, staring at his white bed with white walls and his own little bathroom with no door.

Almost seemed like jail.

Jay felt heart broken. Weak. He leaned his forehead on a wall and tried to take a deep breath, then tightened his clenched fists. He leaned back quickly and punched a hole right into the wall and the nurse ran back in.

Jay's hand shook and it was all bloody.

"He's an addict Emma." Manny sat with Emma in the Dot's booth.

Emma shook her head fast, "I don't want to talk about it." Jay had fooled her, said he changed, and she believed him

She was so stupid! Every night this week she had to go bed, alone, crying her eyes and heart out.

"Doesn't matter how much anyone means to him, an addiction is an addiction Emma." Manny actually said quite seriously.

Emma couldn't look at her because she was right, but she thought love could conqour all.

"Love can't beat everything." Manny whispered to her, "Not when you have such a problem you have to take care of first."

Silence.

"I told you he had to go to rehab."

"Ok Manny!" she exclaimed but took a deep breath, "Maybe it's not realistic of me to think love could of been enough, maybe he does need serious help but.."

"But are you going to help him through this the right way or not?" Manny challanged.

Emma looked down, Manny was right, Jay needed her, he was going through something Emma had no idea about.

Emma smiled sadly to Manny, "When did you get so smart.."

Manny smiled, "Hanging with you I guess." she teased.

Emma frowned deeply, "I don't feel so smart anymore." she began to cry, and wiped her tears. Jay had her world upside down.


	21. Bad for Another

Maybe it was a bad day, or even a bad 2 weeks, but when Emma came back to the rehab center to visit Jay, he was in a no good mood.

He sat down feeling good though, especially when he saw her.

"You came back.."

"Only to be here for you." Emma declared, eyeing him closely and sat across a glass table from him.

He licked his lips nervously, and found his voice, "Are we.."

"We're okay." Emma said, nodding, but knowing what he was really asking, "We're nothing more though." she looked down at the sudden look in his eyes at that sentence, "Not right now." she breathed.

He needed to focus on him.

And he lied to her.. after she swore he changed. She did the worse thing she could of ever done and she fell for Jay Hogart.

Silence.

Jay began to fume, and looked around the hell hole he was going to be stuck in for two more months.

He glared back at Emma, "You think this helps me?" he snaps "That you're '_HERE_' for me, I don't need your **pity** or _support_."

Emma jumped a bit at the bitter in his voice.

"Well what do you want from me then?" Emma cried, not understanding

Jay snickered, rolling his eyes and leaned in closer, "If you can't take me as I am, then I want _nothing_ from you Emma."

Emma's chest hurt and she bit her lip from trembling and shook her head, "I can't take you as a... coke addict Jay. I said it before, I can't deal with this stress!"

"Oh wow!" Jay snapped, leaning back and giving a fake shocked reaction, "This is just stressful for YOU!?" he exclaimed, "How could I be so selfish?"

She was unbelievable!

"You know, I love you for your damn stubbornness, and out spoken mouth but **this**?" Jay asked her, shaking his head, "This is low even for _you_. To judge ME!? As if you didn't have fucked up problems before I tried to help you with."

Emma's mouth dropped, "Getting me to hook up with you wasn't really the BEST choice to help me if you can't remember how that ended." Emma bittered.

"Then I guess you were right before." his eyes stung hers, and he pointed betweent them, "This. Me and you? Wasn't a good idea, we are two completely different people with too different views of things. We're bad for another."

"Fine, I guess so." sneered Emma, standing up and fought her tears as Jay gritted his teeth and flipped the table over as she slammed the exit door shut, and it smashed into bits.


	22. Lost

Emma numbly sat at the Dot's table alone.

A bunch of people around were there, but she wanted to be alone. She couldn't believe how things have ended, how fast it started and how quick it was grabbed away from her.

Jay was suppose to be _the one _for her...least it felt like he was suppose to be.

Emma didn't get it, and quite frankly, she was heartbroken over it. She was kind of hoping after Graduation, she'd get accepted to a far away college and leave the hurt behind.

"Emma! Door!" she heard the night of her Graduation.

Emma groaned, crawling out of bed and put on her jacket, over her nice black dress for her Grad party.

Before she jogged up, she paused, and gazed at the bed she was once on.

_Flashback.. Jay kissed her forehead while laying over her on the bed, and he moved a bit slower, "You okay?" he whispered and she whimpered once more but nodded and bit her lower lip._

Emma shook her head and went up the stairs.

She couldn't think of that anymore. Jay was a mistake.. she wasn't suppose to fall for him. Right?

Snake and Spike backed away from the door as Emma came over and tilted her head confused.

Sean stood there.. and he looked good, light blue button up shirt, sleeves rolled up his strong arms that held roses and black pants. His hair was wavy and pushed back Prince Charming like.

Emma stopped and blinked. What was going on?

"Hey." he whispered, licking his lips nervously. He knew they didn't leave off so good, last thing he said to her was Jay would prove himself to be the liar he was..and he did kinda show that.

He **did **break her heart.

Emma was so awfully confused. So was Sean right? And was she suppose to be with Sean? How come her heart didn't do the things it did around Jay when with Sean? Sean wasn't horrible.. he put her through things but he didn't hurt her like Jay Hogart could.

Emma swallowed hard when Sean stepped inside, and her parents were smiling.

"I know I've.." Sean looked blown away, snickering at himself, "MESSED up, beyond reason with us."

Emma shook her head..oh god, was he trying to get her back?

"But you are the girl I've loved since I was 13." he stepped closer and whispered, "And _Jay Hogart_ was just a summer fling mistake, who brought you down into his mess."

Emma looked down, her stomach twisting..she wasn't so sure if that was it.

Sean coughed, speaking louder, "So.. I'm here to try and make things go back to what they were..to what it's meant to be." he looked deeper in her eyes, passing over the flowers.

Emma stared blankly down at them. Roses weren't her favorite flowers. Why roses?

"You and me. WE are meant to BE, Em." Sean said, "You gotta know that.."

Emma's mouth fell a bit, glanicng at her mom who was happily nodding, holding her hands together and even Snake put his arm around his wife, loving this moment

Why wasn't she like that?

Slowly, Sean reached into his pocket and bent down, opening a small box to a ring.

Spike squeeled a bit.

Emma looked at Sean like he had three heads, "What are you doing!?" she exclaimed, trying to grab his hand to pull him back but he just grabbed hers back and was slipping a ring on her finger.

On her WEDDING Finger!

"I'm doing amazing in Wasaga, and I came back here for you." Sean told her

Emma was loss of words.

He stood back up, holding both her hands now, "I didn't plan to propose." he laughed a little, "But.. I'm doing great back home, we're graduted, I even started my own buisness and starting to open an auto shop..and seeing you? With other guys? Drove me crazy. I know I NEED you, Emma and I want you forever." he glanced back at Snake, "And if you say yes.. your parents are going to help me out more so we can do this together, start a life. Get you out of this hell hole."

"I-I want to go to college." Emma shook her head no.

"We'll do it!" Sean insisted, holding her hands tighter, "We'll do both! Anything! Just come back to Wasaga with me, move in with me..marry me."

"I don't want to leave Degrassi." Emma whispered, trying to find anything to say no without saying that word. She loved Sean like a great friend but. . to marry?

This soon?

Her parents seemed thrilled but something in her mind was imagining Jay the whole time Sean was proposing, shouting at her that she couldn't do this.

Sean seemed disappointed, and looked at her for a moment before nodding, "Fine." he nodded faster, "We'll stay here then, I'll open my shop here." he smiled much more and leaned in.

Emma opened her mouth but was shut up by a kiss, and he kissed her hard and she wanted to shove him away but her parents cheering and clapping confused her.

Was this meant to be?

She kissed him slowly back and he pulled away, grinning so hard his dimples showed off and she smiled uneasily, glancing down at the ring on her fingers.

"You're going to be Mrs. Cameron." teased Sean, softly carressing her hair as her eyes stared at the ring on her finger.

Jesus.

what JUST happend!?

_**(Avicii-wae me up)  
So wake me up when it's all over  
When I'm wiser and I'm older  
All this time I was finding myself  
And I didn't know I was lost**_

Didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know I was lost  
I didn't know

Jay Hogart laid in his bed, lights off and nothing but the outside night stream from his window, peaking in. He stared up at the cieling and couldn't sleep.

Something didn't feel right.

It usually didn't but now it felt worse.


	23. You're Gonna Hear Me Roar

"This is crazy."

"So romantic!"

"Highschool sweethearts marrying right after graduation."

"Be right back." Emma said nervously, baring a smile and pushed past her family and friends that were at her house, all dressed up and having a 'celebration'.

Manny was standing with Craig and Spinner and saw Emma sneak by quickly, grabbing a Champaign glass from a table and snuck down into her room.

The boys and Manny shared a look and she slowly exited as well, following Emma down the stairs.

She passed Sean on the way too, who stood with his brother Tracker and Snake.

"Well he always had eyes for the blondie." Tracker teased, hitting Sean's arm playfully.

Snake chuckled, "I always knew it'd be them in the end."

Meanwhile, Manny quietly went down Emma's stairs and found the blonde sitting on her bed, whipping kleenex on her cheeks that had tears streaming down it.

Her glas of champaign was empty already and just thrown on its side on her bed.

Emma's cries were clear to be heard, but Manny could tell her best friend was trying her best to keep it quiet.

Manny's shoulders dropped and she tried the best she could to go back up, without being noticed.

1 month now and two weeks now.

Jay was slowly losing it. Wasn't rehab suppose to be about getting your sanity back?

"Talk to me Jayson." said Kyle, his roomate.

Jay narrowed his eyes from sitting on the edge of his bed, just trying to think, but this punk was giving him qoutes used on them in group sessions.

"Let it out."

"Fuck. **off**. now." warned Jay, raising an eyebrow to see if Kyle wanted to test him.

Just as he thought, Jay snickered watching the scrunny guy get up quickly and flee out the door. He wasn't a bad guy, he was almost ready to leave actually, he was here for suicide thoughts.

One of the worker came into Jay's room, RIGHT when he had some peace and quiet.

"Hogart, visitor." the bearded man said and guided Jay to the visitor part of the hospital.

Jay was confused, but followed.

Manny Santos sat at the glass table him and Emma once had, but you know..this one was a new one since Jay smashed the other.

He eyed her down, slowly sitting and nodding at the man who brought him and he nodded back, leaving.

"So. .how's it hangin?" joked Manny, not knowing exactly what to say.

Jay glared, but snickered, "Oh it's great. If we're all good, we get treats at the end of the day." he gave her a dull look after.

Manny took a deep breath and shook her head, "I don't know why I'm here." she looked up, shaking her head at herself, "Who am I kidding? Yes I do."

Jay sat up a bit, eyeing Santos down.. he could tell this was about Emma. Was she okay? Was she hurt?

"I **rooted **for you." Manny told Jay, looking at him in disbelief, "And it takes _a lot_ for me, **Manny Santos..** to root for a guy like **you** to be with my best friend..but you really were perfect for her, or so I thought you were.."

Jay clenched his jaw, looking down at his hands and slowly back at her. What was that suppose to mean? Did Emma find someone else? He swallowed hard.

"You were funny, made her laugh, took care of her.." Manny snickered, "why'd you fuck up!?" she yelled at him and didn't mean to, just kinda blurted it out.

"Cause I AM a fuck up!" he snapped back, "haven't you heard? I'm the devil himself, the fucking anti christ."

"You were so good with Emma though." Manny told him.

"Don't think I know thaT?" he sneered back, leaning forward, "There's not much I can do when I'm **trapped **in here."

"Do you still love her?" Manny got straight to the point.

Jay shut up, and swallowed hard, looking down at his hands and began to play with his fingers as he shut his eyes for a second, "I never _stopped_."

Manny breathed out in relief. Thank god!

"Good. How many more weeks you have left then?" she asked him.

Jay gave her an insane look.. then again, if you were Emma Nelsons best friend, you'd have to have some crazyness inside of you too. Jay chuckled and shrugged, "4 more weeks."

Manny stood up, "Alright, call me when you're out then, we have a wedding to stop." she went to turn til she smirked, hearing his words choke up.

"We-e-wedding? Whose wedding? What are you.." Jay was loss at words, not Emma, not HIS Emma.

Manny turned, nodding, "Don't worry, I don't think she really wants to, I think it has a lot to do with her parents being inlove with Sean."

"Sean." Jay said it with such hatred and disgust, his eyes looking so unreadable.

How could she do it? How could she say yes to him? Was what she and him had even real? His heart was thumping and twisting and breaking..

Manny noticed his distraught look and sighed sadly, sitting back down, "You just need to remind her how much you two are hopelessly devoted and inlove with another."

So..her love of Grease and romance might of just slipped out..

"Devoted?" snickered Jay, "As much as I miss her, and am going CRAZY without her, I wouldn't go off and marry some other girl." he bittered.

"I think there is more to it." insisted Manny, "I know my best friend and I k**now** Emma doesn't want Sean like she wanted you, you were different to her. I see it in her eyes, she hasn't even gave a real smile since she took Sean back..You should of seen her at the engagement party."

Engagement party? The words stung at Jay. She was REALLY going through with this?!

So, Jay had a plan. He would go to all the meetings, all the therapy sessions, cry the tears his Doctor wanted to see and he'd get the hell out of here sooner than later so he can stop the only girl he's ever loved from marrying somebody he knew she didn't love.. she couldn't..

He hoped she didn't.

"So." Sean said, snapping Emma out of it.

Emma looked up from her couch and to Sean who sat beside her, going through their invitations.

He smirked a little, putting one down, "I thought you'd be more into this. Isn't this a girls every dream? Creating her wedding?"

Emma sadly smiled and sat up more, "YOu're right." she tried to take a deep breath and began writing names down.

Sean eyed her and tried to sit closer to her, and she shifted oddly and he noticed it. He swallowed hard and slowly put his arm around her.

Emma stood up and took an uneasy breath, "I'm thirsty, you want anything?" she went to the kitchen and he eyed her doing so.

The sink ran and she watched sadly at the water pour. Water was suppose to come from the ocean..what if it didn't LIKE being FORCED out of a sink?

Arms went around her waist and Emma's heart stopped. Sean.

"Em, if we're going to do this, you need to show me you want this too.. running away from me touching you is sending me mixed signals." he whispered into her ear.

Emma shut her eyes when he started kissing down her neck.

"I know we dated when young, and even younger..and.." he coughed lightly, knowing it was weird to talk about, "We never _experienced __**more**_ than second base.."

Emma felt him move her hair to one side so he could kiss her neck more.

"But I'm ready... if you are?" he asked.

Emma looked puzzled...did Sean think she was a virgin?

"Unless you wanna wait for our wedding night." he said, smiling against her shoulder and held her tighter, "I know that's how you use to picture it."

Emma rolled her eyes, yeah! Back when she was 13. She was 17 now! About to be 18..

"Sean I .." Emma moved out of his hold and crossed her arms.

Sean eyed her, wondering what she was going to say and saw the guilt and a bit of shyness wash over her face, and she blushed just thinking about it that night.

He swallowed hard, understanding. You know, deep down,he thought Jay might of gotten Emma into bed..maybe he was just hoping he didn't but Emma had looked different after Jay was gone. Something was changed about her and it must of been that.

she **gave **her **virginity **to Jay **Hogart**

Sean looked away, feeling a bit like he had lost a soccer game or something. Since when was Jay Hogart better than him? Since when did his ex best friend want HIS girl?

"How long did you have a _thing _for him?"Sean had to ask.

Emma looked down, and tried to look at her ring, anything to not think of him but Sean was making her and she opened her mouth to shrug slowly.

She had no idea.. just kinda always did, even when they weren't together she was thinking of Jay time to time.

"Nevermind." Sean didn't want to hear it and stepped closer to her, "Two months from now, you're mine and mine only and that's all that matters." he whispered, and leaned it, capturing her lips to his.

Emma shut her eyes tighter, trying to enjoy the kiss but her stomach felt sick and her mind was yelling at her.

Meanwhile, through the month, Jay did all his tests and meetings, and worked out during the time locked up in rehab. He took his medication, and wrote in his jornals, and the doctor was actually pretty impressed.

Sooner than later, Jay would be out, and he **will** stop his girl from getting married to the **wrong **guy.

_**(Katy perry-roar)  
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire  
Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR  
Louder, louder than a lion  
Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh  
You're gonna hear me roar**_


	24. I Will Always Want You

"Manny for maid of honor, huh?" teased Sean, watching Emma put Manny down for their wedding table

Emma slowly nodded, writing Manny's name even slower. 3 more weeks til their wedding, it wasn't going to be VERY big, just a small wedding at the beach with all close family and friends.

Still, Emma was nervous as hell and still doubtful.. her mom insisted it was just cold feet but, Emma knew what it was.

"What about you?" Emma asked and Sean clenched his jaw

"Well, J.t and Toby were going to be my groomsmen."

"You could ask... Spinner to be best man?"

"We're close but not that close." Sean snickered and tapped his fingers on his knee.

"Toby could be a good best man?" shrugged Emma, not knowing who else.

Sean's best friend has usually been... youknowwho.

Sean shook his head no, lost in though, "Maybe my brother.."

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, noticing a confused look upon his face.

Sean sighed, thinking it was alright to talk about him now. He looked at Jay differently then Emma did, insisting he was just a 'fling' and Emma couldn't really had fallen for such a rebel without a cause.

"Time to time I regret ever being friends with Jay." Sean declared.

Emma looked away from him, her breath uneasy just HEARING his name.

"...Other times I miss him." Sean confessed.

Emma looked at him shocked and she swallowed hard, "Y-you want him IN our wedding?" she shook her head no slowly.

She didn't think she could go through with it if he was there..

"Well, you guys weren't really serious right?" Sean asked her, his eyes cold on hers and Emma tried to look blank.

"R-right." stuttered Emma, baring a smile and frowned deeply, looking down at her ring.

She wondered if Jay even knew of this.

"You're right though, he's trouble, maybe it's not okay to ask him to come." Emma insisted.

"It's been a few months, I'm over it." Sean insisted, and her eyes grew large.

Oh my god, he was going to try to patch things up with Jay!? NOW!?

"Unless.." Sean looked back at her, squinting his eyes to get a closer look at any reaction, "You.."

Emma knew what he was hinting at, and she couldn't let anyone know she really had fallen for Jay Hogart..it made her seem weak, and broken since not with him. Sometimes she felt lost.

"No!" Emma exclaimed and coughed, looking around awkwardly, "Talk to him if you want.. but, rehab remember ? Our weddings soon.. don't think he'd be able to make it."

"I'll visit him." Sean declared, "His time is almost up. Spin goes to see him and said he's doing awesome, so.."

"Awesome?" Emma repeated, her heart tearing to that. He was AWESOME without her huh?

Sean smiled, nodding, "Think I will ask him to be my best man. How can I blame him for trying to go after you? You're perfect."

Emma turned her head when he went to kiss her, upset, but he hardly noticed and just kissed her cheek and got up.

Emma bit the end of her tongue, breathing unsteady and put her hand on her heart, feeling it pound.

This wasn't good.

"Jay Hogart." Sean's voice spoke, watching the one and only slowly come up to the table.

They sat in the hospital and Jay's eyes looked stone cold and hard as he slowly sat. His grey eyes scanned Sean, the man the girl he loved was going to marry. He glanced at the gold ring around his finger and wondered if it had happened yet.

He was out in two days, Manny still wanted to stick to the plan so it couldn't of already happened.. could it of?

"What do **you** want?" Jay snapped bitterly, looking around the rehab, "In here to take care of _your _problems now?" he taunts.

Sean chuckled, shrugging. He deserved that.

"I know the last time we saw another was bad but.." Sean looked back at him, nodding slowly, "I'm sorry."

Jay raised an eyebrow and eyed Sean.

Silence.

Awkward Silence.

"Why?" Jay asked, confused...if he was marrying Emma, any guy who tried to be with her he'd try to kill too.. and not ever say sorry. Hell, he wasn't even WITH Emma and still wanted to kill Sean.

"A lot of things." Sean said, "We're best friends man. We can't fight over a girl." he shook his head.

Jay scowled..Emma wasn't JUST a girl.. she was **the **girl. His girl.

"I get it, I was gone... Emma tried to move on with Peter, failed, went for the other bad boy.. and you thought she'd be easy and that I was over her." Sean insisted, "so you went for it."

Jay clenched his fists, wanting to punch Sean so hard. He had it wrong, so wrong.

"So.." Sean lifted his hand, showing off his ring, "I Got my girl back and I got a line up of bridesmaids for you to be your usual Hogart self." smirked Sean.

Jay couldn't believe his ears... was Sean trying to INVITE Jay to his wedding?

"I can't think of anyone besides you to be my best man."

Sean's words actually made a small guilt turn in Jay's stomach. As much as there was the Emma problem between them, they'd still be the best of friends if there wasn't, but as much as Jay could care about Sean as an old friend, Emma WAS between them and she came first. He was in love with her. Nothing could stop him from trying to win her back.

"Best man?" Jay repeated.

Sean nods, waiting for Jay to answer.

"Sure." Jay smirked and shrugged, "You're right, she was nothing." he lied, "Just another notch on the belt." he qouted the exact same words Sean had said the night he saw Emma kissing him.

So he knew Sean would like that answer and trust him around her again.

Sean got up smiling and the two manly hugged, "Glad to have you back." joked Sean and pulled away, "When do you get out of here?"

"Tomorrow." declared Jay.

And he couldn't wait.

_**Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you  
I can't live a lie, running for my life  
I will always want you**_

I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was wreck me  
I came in like a wrecking ball  
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung  
Left me crouching in a blazing fall  
All you ever did was wreck me  
Yeah you, you wreck me 

(Wrecking ball-mileY)


	25. Don't Forget About Us

Emma and Sean sat across from Craig and Manny, and Manny eyed Sean smirking as he read over his menu.

"You look chipper, today." taunted Manny.

Sean looked up and his smirk went to a grin, "Things are just going my way for once." he put his arm around Emma, kissing her head.

"Gimmie gimmie never gets.." whispered Manny so only Emma from across her would hear.

Emma sent her a glare.

"Got my girl, my family helping for this wedding, moving back with all my friends here, and.. I resolved everything with Jay-"

Emma winced, trying to pick up her waters glass as it fell by the mention of his name and Sean eyed her wierdly.

Thank god it had nothing more in it.

Emma nervously picked it up and put her hair behind her ear, "You talked to WHO?" she pretended she didn't hear and coughed.

Sean got back to explaining, buying that she didn't hear him say Jay's name.

"Jay. And we're good now." he nudged Emma, "And don't worry, he admitted to everything.."

"To what?" both Manny and Emma said at the same time and Emma went red.

"That you guys weren't really anything." shrugged Sean, seeing no big deal now.

The big the deal was though.

"You were just another girl." he went back to reading his menu but added, "which is amazing, I can have my best friend back, and trust him to protect my girl when I'm not around."

"He protects her alright." muttered Manny.

Emma didn't glare this time, she was too lost in thought and feeling her heart rip into pieces. He SAID that? Jay said those WORDS? Were they really nothing? She gave him her everything, her innocene...

"Huh?" Sean asked, looking to Manny.

"Really want the milkshake tonight." Manny lied, covering up what she said and smiled to Craig who smiled, shaking his head and heard what she said.

"oh."

"I gotta pee." Emma said, climbing over Sean and not even letting him just move out. She felt like she was going to be sick, or have a heart attack

She couldn't breath

Was this a panic attack?!

Emma busted into the girls bathroom, tears running down her eyes now and paced the room, shaking her head.

Fine! He thought they were NOTHING!? This wedding HAD to be the ticket to getting over him then, forget him! She'd get over him just fine..

Just fine...

...

Spinner was having a party for god knows why that night, and Emma wore her simple jeans and black knitted shoulder cut off sweater with a white tank ever.

"another shot man, come on. You're not a boring old married man yet." Spinner taunted Sean, rounding up shots for him, Sean, Craig and Alex.

The Alex part was wierd but Emma guessed Spinner just still talked to her..whatever, if he honestly enjoyed her company..

Emma went onto the balcony and saw Manny with Ellie Nash

"E-emma." stuttered Ellie, not sure what to say and Emma eyed her wierdly.

What a weird night!? If it didn't get wierder, behind them was Towerz having a smoke.

Manny sighed, turning to Emma, "Craig invited Ellie here tonight." she bared a smile, trying not to seem like the jealous girl friend.

"I hope it's not wierd I'm here." Ellie said, "But congratulations! with you and Sean." she laughed nervously, holding tighter to her beer.

Poor girl, Emma thought.

"I-It's fine." Emma said and tried to smile, "We've been friends before right? Written up protests and highschool paper together."

Ellie laughed, nodding, that was true..

"Ellie." Sean stared, coming out to notice the redhead and swallowed, looking to Emma in slight panic.

Ellie freakin Nash!

Emma eyed him and glanced to Ellie who looked down, "Hey. I-I just came for Alex.. she really wanted to see Jay. " Ellie tried to explain.

JAY!?

Emma's eyes widened, turning to Manny who avoided her gaze. Oh my god! Did this little SNAKE know he was coming too and didn't tell her!?

Sean nodded, "Y-yeah! That's expected." he coughed again awkwardly

Emma oddly looked at him, he was acting funny..

"I got to go." Emma blurted out, talking about acting funny.

"baby we just got here." whispered Sean, giving her a wierd look.

How could he not tell her this was like Jay's returning, welcome back home party?! Emma felt completely betrayed and she left the balcony without another word.

She raced for the door, squishing through people and as she went to leave,slamming the door open... in he came.

Jay Hogart.

They connected eyes and her mouth fell a bit, and his eyes burned into hers.


	26. Never Hit So Hard In Love

Everything Sean said Jay said to him came rushing to Emma's head and her shocked look turned into an angry run.

"Move, I'm leaving." she snapped, trying to go around and scoffed when other people came in, blocking her.

Jay snickered and she whipped around back at him, opening her mouth to snap at him again as he rolled his eyes and waited for the usual insults she gave him, smirking as she went to-

They were interrupted

"The man is back!" Spinner exclaimed, going over and shared a slap with Jay.

Alex came around and hugged him. From beside, Emma took a step back, just wanting to leave even more now as she glanced at the two. Wasn't Alex gay now?

"Glad you're back." Sean said, coming out of nowhere and sliding an arm around Emma's waist.

Emma jumped, but snuck a glance at Jay's unreadable look as he sized them up, and Emma stepped closer to Sean after some thought, and he happily held her tighter.

Jay eyed Emma up in Sean's arms. He wanted to snicker but swallowed it down, nodding.

"Good to be back."

"You really clean?" Alex asked, amazed. She'd seen him get pretty stoned time to time at old parties back in highschool, she was glad he was moving past it.

He nodded, avoiding his eyes off Emma, "Yup."

"Dude let's celebrate!" Spinner insisted, raising him a big shot glass.

"Yeah he's over drugs, let's get him addicted to drinking." taunted Alex, rolling her eyes but smiled, grabbing one and they all did, raising their cups.

"What about this one?" it was two days later, and Emma stared at the dress Manny came out wearing.

It was a pretty, a wedding gown and Manny's eyes popped in it.

"Isn't Em suppose to be trying them on?" teased Liberty, sitting next to the blonde and nudged her, "Em your weddings two weeks away, you gotta start trying some on."

"I-I have.. once." Emma muttered, lying and then groaned when Manny pulled her up and into the changeroom to be alone.

Emma couldn't get Jay out of her head, when he walked through that door at the party the other night, he looked SO good, not just healthy, but he was so much more than any boy- no man, she's ever met.

Ever hated someone you loved so much yet still wanted to jump into their arms because they've been missing for a while? It was a VERY confusing feeling.

"Em.." Manny said, biting her lip. Emma was crying and snapped out of it, touching her cheeks.

"OH god, sorry I just.." she tried to bare a smile, "happy tears, I'm getting married soon!"

Manny saddened looking at her, "You couldn't be a worse liar." she admitted.

Emma laughed sadly and sat on the ground, running her fingers through her hair.

"Em, if you still love Jay, you can't do this with Sean, you can't walk down that isle." Manny told her.

"I-I can." Emma stuttered, "Jay said it himself, we were nothing." she sucked in a shakey breath.

"you really believee that?" Manny asked in disbelief.

Emma snapped, "HE said **IT**, Manny."

Manny shut up, knowing she couldn't find anything to say to that.. she thought maybe Jay had said it to get Sean off his back but only time would tell.

"OH god." Emma groaned, looking at her watch, "I have to meet Sean at the bakery to try different cakes for the wedding. "

She got up quickly and Manny tried to stop her, but she dashed out. Liberty blinked, giving Manny a wierd look who just shrugged and crossed her arms.

Emma whipped the bakery door open, looking around and not seeing Sean there and groaned softly, going to the counter to the owner. They've talked to the woman before, she was a great cook and she knew them well.

"Ah, my bride to be." smiled Marcie.

Emma smiled uneasily and tilted her head, "Has Sean come in? I'm a little late but.."

Marcie smiled devilishly, "He got tied up at work, he called though, said he tried to call you too."

"Oh." Emma blinked, she had been busy at the dress shop..

"So he sent in his best man instead." Marcie pointed behind Emma who just DIDN'T want to turn, knowing exactly who this best man was.

She cursed silently over and over, shutting her eyes before she turned her head.

Jay sat at a table near the window, leaning back in his chair and his feet leaning on the small table as he held a small plate with a half eaten cake.

Emma scowled, walking up to him.

"I'll bring you the marble cake now!" Marcie called after her but smiled to Jay more, since she had met him and was just LOVING him.

"Thanks Marcie." Jay decided to answer, smirking at Emma thought who finally met up with him at the table, "It's good." he informed, holding a fork with cake on it and handed it out for her to try.

Emma was on fire, "What are YOU doing here?" she snapped.

"Eating." he informed dumbly, taking the bite off the fork since she wouldn't, "Getting fat." he said with mouth full and smirked with full cheeks of food.

Emma would of thought that he looked adorable, but she was busy trying to stay mad.

"I don't need someone whose been eating hospital food for three months, picking out MY wedding cake." she knew it was mean, but how could he even think for a second that this would be okay?!

"Ouch." he sat up more, leaning foward on the table she finally sat down at, "You're bitter."

"I'm annoyed." she snapped back, glaring and couldn't believe he would say that.

"Why?" he shrugged, connecting eyes with her, "We're _fine _now.. what happened between us happened, it's in the past. A mistake.." he drifted, eyeing her as he asked, "Right?"

Emma swallowed her heart, so many comments running through her head.

"Well I **am **going to marry **Sean**." she declared, raising an eyebrow to show that YES, it was right, they WERE a mistake.

...then why was she trying so hard to prove it might of been?

"Well I **am** soo** happy** for you two kids." Jay taunted back, squinting his eyes as Marcie came over, "Marc!" joked Jay, shaking his head and grabbing his fork again, "You really are going to get me fat over here."

She giggled madly and Emma resisted rolling her eyes, and Marcie replied, "Oh you!" she swatted his arm after laying down another cake, "This is the peanut butter cake, and this is the marble."

Peanut butter, only Emma could of been the one who wanted that, Jay remembered the day they spent in bed just eating junk food and watching Disney movies... she loved her peanut butter.

And Jay happily ate it, loving it too.

Emma bit into both, as Marcie was still loving up on Jay, "So are you next down the isle?" she teased.

Emma flushed and looked to see Jay looking right at her and caught her eyes, "Nah." he said, speaking in a taunting tone, "I don't _rush_ into things like that."

Emmas nose flared and she stuck her fork hard into her next cake, "Some people don't need to rush, sometimes it's **meant to be**."

Marcie glanced between the two, coughing lightly and noticing the tension between the two.

"Marc." Jay said, and already the woman giggled.

Emma shook her head in disbelief, what POWER and CHARM did Jay Hogart have over people? ! It was that smirk, she was sure of it, or the hynotizing grey eyes. . that could stop traffic.

"Would you marry someone so suddenly just after a **week **of dating?" he asked, eyes on Emma as he asked her though.

Emma's mouth fell and looked to Marcie before she answered, "Me and Sean were highschool sweethearts." she glared back at Jay.

Jay chuckled, putting more cake onto his plate and glancing to Marcie, "And by that she means, from grade 7 to not even the end of the year, since he pushed her dwn" he shrugged to Marcie, "He's got anger issues." he whispered like a secret.

"Oh dear." Marcie said, glancing worriedly at Emma who was having anger issues of her own right now.

Jay went on glancing back at Emma, "Then end of grade 8, to grade 9.. where he broke up with her cause he met me." he winked to Marcie, "I was too cool for school, charmed boys as much as the girls."

"Oh you're bad." giggled Marcie again, covering her mouth from laughing and blushing. He was quite the looker!

"And he thought he could do better than her." Jay eyes were hard, and serious now, looking at Emma who stared bluntly back at him.

That was true.. Sean did do that. Emma stared off..

"Which he couldn't." Jay said, coughing lightly and looking away for a second not to show any weakness for Emma, then looked back at Marcie, "Now does **that **sound like _love_ to you?"

Marcie opened her mouth but stayed quiet, noticing the second guessing look on Emma's face. She'd seen many brides who regretted getting engaged..and Emma had that look on her face right now. Marcie eyed Jay.. were these two a couple before or... ? She could practically feel the history.

"Well-"

Emma cut her off, snapping at Jay more though, "He **may** of screwed up, tons of people do Im sure **you** understand." she taunts Jay, raising an eyebrow,"But he made up for it, if I remember correctly he took the bullet that was aimed at **me**." she looked up to Marcie, "Wanna know WHY there was some guy trying to shoot me?"

Marcie's eyes widened, wow.. this was a lot to take in

Jay tensed, and he felt his stomach turn and looked stone cold back at Emma.

She went on, "Cause _this _**guy**, back in highschool, he was a bit of a misguided youth who liked to stir trouble and was into bad t_hing_s.."

Jay swallowed, knowing she was talking about him.

"He thought it'd be okay to bully someone who'd eventually snap and not only did he snap, he brought a gun to school, and he went after the wrong people.. and I was one of them." she looked harder at Jay, "And Sean, **Sean **was the one who helped me."

Silence.

Jay clenched his jaw, looking down at his plate, "He may of took a bullet to the arm, but as I recall, he didn't help.. he ran away, like a scared dog with a tail between his legs and left you alone."

"Better than the coward who never admitted he was what made the shooter snap." Emma snapped back.

Jay sat up, glaring awfully onto her now, "No, no he was busy snorting cocaine and ruining his already fucked up life.. you don't think he showed his remorse? You don't think I tried to make up for it? Have I bullied ever since? Didn't I stop Spinner from blowing that shit hole school up? You don't think I thought about just offing myself off next? Didn't I try to stay away from you for as long as I could?!"

Emma sucked in a breath, not thinking he'd snap like that, and he held just THAT in his eyes, remorse..and regret, sadness. Jay got up, and just left, slamming the door open and it shut closed.

Emma slumped in her seat, staring where Jay once sat and not knowing what to even think about what just happened.

"Mmmm girl." Marcie said, shaking her head, "You two are down right in love."

"Huh?" Emma snapped out of it and looked at her and coughed, "OH, with Sean.. yeah." she said uneasily.

"No honey." Marcie raised an eyebrow, "You in love with the grooms best man." she turned to bring the empty plates to the counter.

Emma shot up, "N-no!" she pointed where Jay just left, "Did you not just hear all that?"

"What?" Marcie giggled a bit, "A couple bantering about past mistakes? It happens! Gotta talk about it to get through it right?"

Emma stopped in her tracks, looking awfully confused and shook her head, "No, no he's bad for me."

Marcie turned to her, looking serious now, "He may drive you crazy, and he may of done things he can't make up but you're going to forgive him anyways, because that's what love is Dear. That's the definition of love.." she glanced at Emma up and down, "Love is til the end, in sickness and in health right?"

Emma shut her eyes tiredly, sick of pretending too and nodded slowly. Marcie was right. Wow, such wise words from the CAKE lady. Emma didn't meant to push the shooting onto Jay, it just seemed the easiest to make him hurt.. she knew deep down he regretted that with everything in him; it changed him.

Emma slowly walked into Jay's work. It was late, so he was the only one in there, and he knew she came in since he glanced over.

But he ignored her, and kept working on the engine of his own car.

Anything to get his mind off right?

Emma slowed down when she reached near him, and eyed him, then looked around, "Are you going to talk to me?" she asked.

He snickered, picking up a screw driver, "Think we said enough today."

Emma shook her head, they really haven't though, "Not what needs to be said."

Jay slowly stopped working, and blinked. Did she mean... did she want to talk about THEM?

Emma sucked in a breath as he turned to her, putting down his tools and walked right up to her. What she thought was going to be a bad fight, turned into Jay grabbing her into his arms and crashed his lips down onto hers, kissing her passionately and so deeply she couldn't help but forget they're suppose to be fighting and kissed back, seeing fireworks and wrapped her arms around his neck.

_**I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was wreck me  
Yeah you, you wre-eck me **_

The kiss slowed down, but they didn't pull away, he tenderly kissed her and she sighed hopelessly into the kiss, letting him hold her tighter.

_**Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you**_

They now laid on his bosses desk, in the office and Jay slid her skirt up, his mouth still on hers, panting as he guided inside of her and she cried out into his mouth and shut her eyes in complete pleasure, shuddering when his hands roamed up her hips and then gripped them, going harder as he missed the feel of her and she wanted to feel him more too. She clung her nails into his sweaty back and he drove into her and she closed her eyes in bliss as he kissed up her neck and whimpered; he whispered sweet things into her ear and they were both close

_**I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls**_


	27. I Chose Him

"To Sean and Emma, may the rest of your lives together be a happy one." said Snake, raising a glass.

There was a long table, with people part of the wedding and just family over for dinner that was in Emma's back yard, and pretty nice looking too.

Emma would thank her mom and Manny for the beautiful work if she wasn't focusing so hard on her food.

Jay's eyes stung on her on the other end of the table.

She sat beside Sean who grabbed her hand, smirking at her Step dad and nodding as a thankyou to his speech.

Then Tracker got up to do his own and Emma snapped out of it, looking at Sean who was chuckling at the embarressing memories Tracker was bringing up, but she let her eyes wonder to Jay.

Jay was sipping his beer now, Spinner talking to him as well but the two could only look at another and not hear anyone around them.

Emma let the memory of the other night wash over her..

FLASHBACK.

_Emma panted hard, not ever coming like __**that**__ before, must of been the wanting and craving of Jay that made her do it so hard. Jays forehead still hung against her shoulder as he stood on the ground, her sitting on his boss' desk with her legs still wrapped around his waist and he was breathing heavily and shakingly, his eyes still shut._

_She winced and whimpered as he moved out of her slowly, and he cupped her face, kissing her gently and then her forehead as she lost her breath._

_"Have you let him have you like that?" he asked quietly, almost deathly, and she shook her head no and he seemed to sigh in relief. _

_With him out of her now, she almost pouted, but let her hands roam down his chest, "Only you.." she whispered._

_She cried out when he was already hard, unbelievably too, and it was her words that did it. He couldn't help but push her legs apart again, and thrusted into her, and her mouth hung as he slid in and out of her slowly but so deeply, staring in her eyes possessive like and cupping her neck_

_"Jay!" she whimpered but moaned, still sensitive from the last time they did it, and she moaned like crazy feeling herself cumming AGAIN and she clenched her eyes shut._

_"He's never going to love you like I do." Jay whispered in her ear and her heart pounded harder til it stopped when he said, "And he'll never fuck you like this either." she opened her eyes to his and he went on, "Or make you laugh." he shut his eyes, pushing into her again with a groan, "OH fuck, Emma.." _

_END OF FLASHBACK.._

Emma's heart pounded wildly and she stared down at her ring. What was she doing? what the hell was she suppose to do?

Manny was right before, Emma was hopelessly devoted to Jay but.. how was she to call this off? It was so BIG.

She looked back to Jay who was looking down now as Spike took her turn to speech, and he cracked another beer open, clearly not enjoying this.

After dinner, was the rehearsal.

Emma groaned, being pulled into the church with Sean, "We already went through this 100 times." she said.

Manny, Jay, the bridesmaids and grooms men followed. Jay leaned on the wall by the front of the church.

"I know, I just don't want any pressure on either of us come the day." Sean insisted, "This has to be smooth sailing." he pointed to Manny, Liberty and Emma's cousin Shelby, "Stand in your spots."

They did.

"Jay, J.t and Toby." he pointed behind him.

Ellie, Craig and Spinner sat down at the first bench and watched in entertainment.

Sean raised an eyebrow at Emma who was giving him an insane look, "What?" she snapped.

"You can't already be at the front Emma, go walk down your isle." he teased but grabbed her hand, helping her walk back down to the doors.

Jay leaned off his wall and cornered his eyes, watching them go and stood where he'd be if they were getting married. Are they still ? What was Emma going to do? Can't she just call it off? .. Maybe not with all their friends around but.. did he really have to go through this? And do it again the next time? Once was too much.

Sean nodded when Emma was down the isle, and walked back to the front by Jay and the boys.

Manny and Emma shared a look, clearly Emma wasn't feeling too good about this right now. Manny glanced at Jay, who stared down at his feet.

"And go." Sean directed.

Emma couldn't move her feet.

"..goo.." drifted Sean.

Jay looked up and looked at Emma, who now stared at her own feet and he smirked a little. She wasn't moving.

She stared down wondering why her feet couldn't even just fake it and go?

"She's .. not..moving." muttered J.t under his breath.

"What's going on?" Shelby whispered to Liberty who was just as confused.

Ellie gave Emma a wierd look down the isle. Why was she getting cold feet?! Sean was one of the best guys ever..

"no, this is fine." Sean insisted, turning to Jay and backed up, "Take my spot."

Jay gave him an insane look. For nor or forever? Cause he'd happily take the forever option.

Sean jogged up to Emma who went to say sorry and he shook his head, "I should walk with you during rehearsal.. tell you what to do."

Emma scoffed, since when was Sean so sure about everything and Mr Wedding planner?

"First, eye contact." Sean whistled, trying to catch Jay's attention from front "You're suppose to be me here, Hogart. Look at the bride."

Jay ripped his eyes off the floor and clenched his jaw, looking over at Sean bringing Emma down the isle.

He swallowed hard, envisioning her in a long white dress, and him in a tux... he didn't want her to marry Sean, it had to be him.. she couldn't do this.

Emma dropped her eyes down nervously when Jay began to stare and she felt her heart skipping, imagining herself going up to him and not Sean to marry. How interesting that'd be..

Sean jumped over the small wall that would seperate the priest from the bride and groom, and he pretended to be the priest as Emma and Jay finally reached another and they stared back another.

"Alright." Sean said, pointing to Manny, "Then you'd give the rings." he nodded to Jay, cause he would too.

Emma watched Jay swallow hard, staring into her eyes and she tried to give him a look to say she wasn't enjoying this either.

"Then we'd say our I do's, and then the kiss." smirked Sean.

Craig jumped out of his bench beside Ellie and Spinner, and went to the organ piano, and jokingly played the wedding song when the couple would kiss and the two, Emma and Jay, couldn't help but step near another and Jay cupped her face, kissing her.

"NOOO!" Liberty cried out, shutting her eyes.

The two didn't even hear anything, nothing but the bliss of the kiss and they kissed deeper, Emma's hands smoothing up his chest to his shoulders.

Jay kissed her slower but didn't pull apart, as the music died and Craig pushed the wrong key, making a bad note as he gawked the scene.

Manny cringed but smiled bashfully, knowing the gig was finally up.

Sean's mouth dropped, looking between the two and he saw it, and felt it, the winner of Emma's heart was Jay. He had a part of her Sean would never get, and the kiss showed it.

"Dude." Spinner coughed, trying to snap Jay out of it.

"Em-MA!" whispered her cousin harshly, trying to stop her and the kiss finally stopped, and they looked completely shocked but not about what happened...

More shocked because the two both knew that kiss was the start of their life together, and now everyone knew it.

Emma smiled sweetly to Jay's slow grin.

Sean nodded slowly, "So, how was that?" he asked a bit bitterly, "Clearly.." he pointed between them, "There's still something between you two."

Jay smirked, eyes never leaving Emma as he spoke to him, "It's more than _something_. Sorry Cam, I'm in love with her and..." he admitted but smiled a bit more, "I think she chose who she wants."

Emma tried not to blush and smiled, shaking her head.

"Y-you want Jay?" Sean asked her, "You're in love with **Jay**?"

Everyone in the church stared.

"Yeah..I am." Emma admitted, her eyes not leaving Jay's either as she laughed kind of in disbelief too, "I _did _try not to." she insisted though.

Jay chuckled and Sean clenched his jaw, nodding at the two lovers who couldn't even rip their eyes off another as they did this to him.

"Fine." he bittered.

_**BAM!**_

Emma gasped, holding Jay's waist as he doubled over a little, holding his jaw and nodding.

"Yup, I expected that." insisted Jay, glancing to see Sean storm out of the church.

Emma sadly ran her thumb on his wound and then scoffed, "Hold on." she ran after Sean, feeling horrible it had to be THIS waybut HEY ! he put them in this position.

Sean stormed out the church doors just as she ran up behind him and he stormed down the steps into the night.

Emma called out to him, "Sean you're going to meet someone who deserves you and will do everything to make you happy!"

"Sean!" Ellie yelled, running after him to his car.

"OH! SEE?!" Emma said, pointing at Ellie running over to him. She knew that girl still wanted him!

Emma hopefully watched as Sean did let Ellie in his car, and then he sped his car out, and away from the church with a shriek and loud engine.

"Well, that was quite a show." taunts Spinner, leaving passed her with J.t, Toby, Liberty and Shelby.

Emma shut her eyes, embarressed but gave Liberty a small smile back who gave her a supporting nod. If Emma didn't love Sean, it was good the wedding wasn't going to happen.

Craig and Manny were next, and Manny gave Emma an understanding 'you did the right thing' smile.

Emma sighed, and shared the hug with her as Craig whistled, "Better then the time I even screwed up a wedding." he insisted.

Emma laughed sadly and shook her head, watching them go as Jay walked up behind her slowly, rubbing his jaw.

"So.." he drifted.

Emma turned to him, shocked he stayed back and tried to hide her blush from the kiss and how she pictured THEM getting married. She wondered what he thought about..

"He's never going to talk to us again." Jay declared, snickering a bit but felt a LITTLE bit guilty, but like he said before.. Emma meant more to him and he had to do anything he could to get her back

"All that money..down the drain." Emma mumbled, "parents are going to be soooo mad."

Jay narrowed his eyes at her and coughed lightly, "You got the wedding dress?"

"Mhm." Emma said, staring back at the parking lot and watching their friends go.

"Cake?" he asked.

"Peanut butter." she said, smiling a little. Her favorite !

"No sense in wasting it.." drifted Jay, circling his thumbs around another as he looked back at her.

she glanced over at him twice and tilted her head confused, "Huh?"

"Mean the wedding invitations were already handed out so.." he drifted off, raising an eyebrow at her.

Her mouth hung.. was he saying what she thought he was?

"You wanna.."

"Why not?" Jay suddenly looked excited, the most she's ever seen, even more than the time they broke him out of the hospital and he kissed her, "I'm inlove with you, so much it drives me crazy, I want to know you're mine." he cupped her face, "Forever."

"I am." EMma insisted, shaking her head at him for not knowing that, she'd never loved anyone the way she loved Jay and that type of feeling wasn't just going to wash away

"Then marry me. . but marry me because YOU want to." he informed.

She eyed him carefully, going through all her thoughts one at a time and raised her eyebrows. Everything WAS paid for..and this felt 1000 times more right.

"My parents are STILL going to be so mad at me." Emma laughed a bit but he laughed too and leaned down, kissing her.

Oh my god.

They were really going to do this.


	28. Wedding Day

"Oh my god! You're marrying Jay!" Manny bounced up and down with Emma.

Emma laughed and playfully shoved Manny's shoulder and shushed her, "My parents don't know, half the people invited don't even know it's not Sean that's going to be the groom."

"So scandalous." joked Manny.

Emma laughed, "How come you weren't this excited before when I was FIRST engaged?"

"Cause I knew you didn't love him." Manny confirmed.

Emma sat on her bed, raising her eyebrows. It was that obvious huh?

"And you don't think it's..fast?" Emma asked her slowly.

Manny shrugged, "Maybe it is but it's also not shocking.. you would marry another** some** day, you're THAT kind of couple. You two give me hope I'll find a love like that one day."

"Manny you have Craig." Emma said, confused.

Manny sighed, "Craig doesn't love me nor do I love him the way you and Jay love another. We don't hurt when away from another, we don't stare at another like it might be the last time we see each other.."

Emma smiled sadly, wishing Manny did know how that felt.

"I love him so much.." Emma breathed helplessly, "I've never wanted someone **so much**."

"You two went through a lot together. Highschool, the shooting, the ravine, his addiction, him stopping your wedding to Sean. Now it's all led to this, you marrying the** right **guy."

"At the age of 18." EMma nervously said, smiling but nodded, it did feel right. She suddenly clenched her stomach, feeling horrible.

"What's wrong? Cold feet?" Manny asked and Emma dove passed her into the bathroom, puking up, "Or.." Manny drifted, wrinkling her nose, "Cold stomach?"

Emma whipped her mouth, slowly coming out and leaning on the doorframe, cringing

"I **might **be pregnant." Emma admitted, wincing with how THAT outcome will be with Jay.

Manny's mouth dropped and her eyes widened. OH.. crap.

"D-doctors. Hospital! Right now." she grabbed Emma's hand, leading her off.

Emma held her POSITIVE letter from the Doctor, and stared at it in horror. She was pregnant.

She leaned back in the hospitals waiting room, just her and Manny letting it wash over.

"Great." Emma mumbled, "I'm the slut bride who changes grooms and people are going to think he's just doing it cause I'm pregnant."

Manny was stunned too and bit her lower lip, "You don't think.. he'll.."

Emma looked at her confused, "He'll what?"

"Well he's going to freak out." Manny declared easily, "But.. he won't turn to _youknowwhat _right?"

Cocaine.

Emma nervously looked down "I... I don't think so. He's been doing good, hasn't even mentioned it or has that want look in his eye anymore." she tried to hide her smile..unless he was looking at her.

No time for that though! More important things...

"Jay?" Emma walked into his work the next night, taking in a deep breath.

Jay was standing in his bosses office and came out, holding something in his hands and walked over to her, smirk turning into a chesire grin.

"So." he said, "Let's get this **thing **off." he told her, grabbing her hand

She opened her mouth to get down to buisness but was curious on what he was doing as he ripped Sean's old engagment ring off then slipped on a new one.

A beautiful one.

One that made her heart melt and it was just perfect. She was never a fan of gold, she liked silver, and he got her one with a square diamond and two small ones beside the middle one.

It was perfect.

HE was perfect.

"Those happy tears or are you regretting this?" Jay asked bluntly, staring at Emma terrifyingly when she choked on tears and tried to whipe them away.

"Both." she cried.

"You don't wanna marry me?" he asked, looking heart broken and Emma shook her head fast.

"No!" she cried quickly and corrected, "You won't want to marry me after.." she took a deep breath, trying to tell him.

Jay tilted his head, eyeing her wierdly, "Why wouldn't I want to marry you? You could try to kill me and I'd honestly **still **want you."

Emma choked n her cry, laughing a little but tried to stop crying to explain.

He cupped her chin, and raised it slowly to look at him, his piercing eyes grabbing her attention and she softened, looking at him.

"What is it?" he asked quietly and worriedly.

Emma sniffed and her voice cracked, "I-I'm.. pregnant."

His eyes turned from worried and caring to completely blank, and his mouth slowly closed, looking down. She was..what?

He let her go and Emma bit her lower lip, "Jay-" She stopped, as he shook his head no. he needed silence to take this in.

Silence.

More silence and it was killing her.

"Talk to me." she cried and begged.

"I." he stopped and looked back at her, then back to the ground, "I'll just..see you tomorrow, at the church." he confirmed, and walked around her.

Emma turned and watched him leave, and he left her alone, and even his auto shop alone with no one running it.

This was bad, wasn't it?

Emma stood in the brides room of the church, Liberty behind her tying the back of her wedding dress up. It was beautiful, strapless and lace, and her hair was long and in big wavy curls with the vail on top.

Emma was sweating though, and trying not to cry off her make up.

"Em, he's going to come!" Manny insisted. Everyone was outside, looking around and waiting for the wedding to start.

Sean had called his family and friends to let them know it was off, but Emma's came and Jay's now too.. yet no sign of Jay yet.

"what the hell is this?!" Snake bursted into the door with Spike chasing after him.

He held the new wedding invite and saw JAY HOGART above Emma's name, no more Sean's.

"Mr. Simpson, Snake." Manny said, trying to block him from going to Emma who began to have a panic attack, "Your daughter is very much in love with Jay and you yelling at her is not going to stop that. IF you want her happy, instead of forcing her to marry SEAN, then you'll understand."

"Forcing?" Repeated Snake, shaking his head, "Emma we never-"

"you let him come in, you knew we haven't been together since forever, and you LET him propose to me." EMma said, starting to cry, she couldn't help it.

"Emma we thought it'd make you happy, you'd been so distance all summer." Spike reminded, sadly looking at her.

Emma stomped her foot, snapping at them, "And you wouldn't know WHY because you were **gone!** you left me ALL summer and I had to take care of myself, a-and Jay.-"

"Why'd you have to take care of Jay Hogart?" Snake asked, confused some more and Emma shut up.

Ok.. maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

"because he needed me, and right now.. I need _him _and he's not **here**." Emma said through her tears and turned away from them.

Spike and Snake shared a look and Spike saddened, seeing the hurt in Emma and how badly she did want Jay.

"do you love him?"

Emma turned around and faced her mom, softening and nodding, "I do." she whispered and looked fearfully at them, "And.. I'm pregnant with his baby too.."

Snake's eyes budged out and Manny even covered her eyes, WRONG thing to say right now! Spike even looked like she wanted to faint.

Liberty noticed Spinner trying to grab their attention from the door and she quietly went over.

"We don't know where he is.." whispered Spinner, cringing a bit.

Emma whipped around, hearing that and snickered bitterly, "I do, probably off to timbock two!" she shook her head, whipping off her vail.

It's over.

SO over.


End file.
